TransGriot Note: Battlestar Galactica is one of my favorite shows. As a writing exercise, one day I took this scene from the miniseries, imagined that Gaius Baltar and Number Six were Black and started writing.
We're at the phat crib of Dr. Darius Baltar, scientific genius and playa-playa. He's got a honey dip in his bedroom and Number 36-24-36 is quietly watching him.
"Trick, get up," said 36-24-36.
"Who the frack are you?"
"Get the frack up out of his bed before you find out who I am."
"Darius, you gonna let her talk to me like that?"
"Sorry babe, she’s got it going on," said Darius. “I did tell you before we got busy I was seeing somebody.”
"So it’s like that, huh?”
“Yep Terri, it is.”
“My girlfriend Aisha warned me to leave your tired ass alone,” Terri said as she put her clothes on.
"Whatever tramp, get out." said 36-24-36 as Darius puts on his robe.
After Terri finished putting on her clothes, she rolled her eyes at Darius before storming out of the bedroom and slamming the door on her way out.
“Baby, I'm sorry...," he said with a contrite expression on his face.
"Spare me, Darius. I came here because I need to tell your dog ass something."
"And what's that?"
"I'm a Cylon."
"You're fracking kidding me, right?"
"No, I'm not. Didn't you notice anything unusual about me?"
"Naw baby, you’re fine as hell. But now that I think about it, there was that night I thought I saw red lights when we were doing the wild thang at the Caprica City Hilton."
He stepped back to take another good look at 36-24-36's shapely honey brown figure and hazel eyes.
“Dayum! Y'all sure have come a long way, baby. Last time I peeped Cylons y'all looked like walking chrome toasters."
"That's not all I have to tell you.”
“What? You have a sister?”
“I have many sisters. But that’s not important right now. Remember when I asked you for that little favor to look around the Colonial Fleet’s defense mainframe computers?"
"Yeah. Your point?"
"The point is that I played your pussy whipped punk azz. I needed you to help me complete my mission.”
"What mission?"
"We needed to find out what was up with the Colonial Fleet. Thanks to you I got the information I needed and sent it to the brothers and sistahs back on Cylon."
"YOU DID WHAT?" said Darius.
"I said I sent that information on the mainframe back to Cylon. Every fracking file."
"Girl, you know what they'll do to a brotha if they find out?"
"No, what?"
"They'll fry my black azz for treason."
“That’s your problem, not mine,” said 36-24-36. “What are you doing?"
"I need to call my lawyer," Darius said as he picked up his phone.
"That won't be necessary."
"What do you mean, that won't be necessary?"
"You heard me, that won’t be necessary,” said 36-24-36. “In a few hours there won't be anybody left on this planet to charge you with anything."
"What are you talking about?"
"The children humanity kicked to the curb are coming home,” said 36-24-36. “Today."