Big Mac and Lies

Thanks to 'a reader'

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 6
Whilst sitting in the upper food court at Epsom's sparkling Ashley Centre (spiritual home to all suicidalists), one quick-witted reader spotted this: a full death metal / jugalo / Kiss wannabe Gothrocker enjoying a cold one whilst contemplating the finer symbolism of Proust's 'A la recherche du temps perdu' as juxtaposed with the lyrics to Closer by NiN between Bacon Double Suffering burgers. Note the standard reaction of most norm's - turn your back and pretend he's not there (which is how he likes it), with the exception of one young innocent child, formulating the question in her head "Daddy, why is that man dressed all funny? He's spooky." We'll never know, little girl, we'll never know.

sidenote: Submitted by 'a reader' - with a secret to hide, perhaps? Maybe a militant vegan with a secret yearning for recovered meat products. Are you a vegetarian who secretly yearns for meat? Or a vegan desperate for a ham and cheese omelette? The Jeremy Kyle team want to hear from you!

ITV needs you!

stolen from a frankly superb looking wedding in Russia

Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness: 8 (under the collar)

I've had had a request from ITV which gives me the excuse to finally post one of these great images of full-on Gothy nuptials action. Hard working Nina Clement is looking for a Goth couple who are getting married to shoot for their Living TV show, Four Weddings. I'm guessing it has something to do with weddings. She wants couples who are getting married in Feb / March this year (don't blame Nina for the short notice, production cycles are getting worse and worse, in my day we had 6 years to research and we didn't have no internet, plus we shot on real video not that mini DV crap, kids these days etc etc). If you fit the bill, let me know and I'll pass you along to Nina. Hey, at least your wedding video should be in focus.

p.s. Frankly, Nina doesn't seem too bothered whether you're Goth or not. she just needs someone getting married! soon! help!

New for 2010

Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness: 6
So, the festive cheer of the non-demononational holiday period has been and gone, and the burning question on your lips is this: what is the Goth-about-town wearing this season? Fear not, darkling, I can confidently predict the demise of the Gothasol (though as you can see, some tradgoth diehards are clinging on to yesteryear's look). Goths and Gothettes, I give you.. THE GOTHWING. Or fan as some might call it. The Impressive Clergyman calls it a gothwing, and who are we to doubt the word of a trend forecaster such as he? The contextual usage, he tells me, should be thus; " I was up that Camden Market recently and spotted Lauren Laverne fanning her face with a rather fetching Victorian lace Gothwing." Get in touch with your local Gothic outfitter now!

Pretty in Pink

Thanks to Romina D'Alessandro

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 5
Romina here claims that this was worn for an 80's themed day at school, but you and I know she's fibbing don't we? Look at the tell-tale signs: 2nd hand tails, hair draped over the eyes, too many necklaces - the similarity to Molly Ringwald and Ducky is unmistakable. Two Goths - Spotted!