The Day I Helped Kill A Baby, Part 2

Continued from Part 1

"I'm pregnant."

I froze, the knife poised in mid-air. I thought for a second, then answered with all the coolness I could muster.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

Cathy gave a bitter laugh, "Oh, don't worry. It's not you."

"How can you be sure?" I asked, a tiny bit calmer.

"Because I've already had my period once since you....." she said. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's that guy David, remember the one I met on the beach?"

"Yeah, I think so. He's the one that works at Jeans West?"

"No, he works at Merry Go Round, the Jeans West guy was Adam or something."

I pulled the phone around the corner of the bar and squatted down so I wouldn't be heard. "OK, so what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean? I'm going to get an abortion of course! I can't be having a baby, I just bought that hot new bathing suit!"

We both laughed a little bit at that, but I heard the fear in Cathy's voice

A couple of days later Cathy and I went to get the results of her rabbit test. I drove her downtown even though I had classes that day. We were running early so we stopped at Steak-N-Shake on the way and had lunch in the car.

"You've been pretty quiet. Are you rethinking the abortion?" I asked.

Cathy shook her head and wiped some vanilla shake from the corners of her mouth. "No, not reconsidering it. I've just been thinking about my mother and how old she was when she had me. She had me when she was 19, can you imagine ME with a five year old right now?"

"Yeah, that would be weird. We probably wouldn't have ever met," I said.

Cathy stopped chewing and stared at me. "Why? Do you hate kids or something?"

"No, I don't hate kids. But girls with five year old kids don't spend their days lying around the pool and barhopping with gay men, do they?"

"I guess not," she said.

Again,it was quiet for a couple of minutes. We watched the waitresses hustle orders out to the cars, their uniforms soaked with sweat.

"Are you real sure you're even pregnant?" I finally asked.

"Oh yeah, honey. I am Miss Clockwork. They could launch the fucking space shuttle on my periods. 5-4-3-2-1...Mission Control, we have a bloody lift-off!"

I dropped Cathy off at her doctor's office and went into the mall next door and played pinball for a couple of hours. Cathy was standing in front of the building when I went back to get her, checking out her hair in the window. She seemed upbeat when she jumped into the car.

"So how's that rabbit doin'?" I asked, trying to match her mood.

Cathy pulled down the visor and examined her lipstick. "Honey, let's go buy a shovel, cuz that bitch is d-e-a-d!"

"You seem pretty cheerful." I said, casting her an uncertain look.

"Well, the doctor said I was probably no more than 6 weeks pregnant, and that the abortion would be a piece of cake. In fact, I just scheduled it with some other doctor he knows. I asked for Monday, you know so this weekend isn't ruined and I have time to feel better for next weekend."

It was so typically Cathy to make sure that the minor inconvenience of having an abortion didn't interfere with her rigorous nightclubbing schedule. And I'll admit, I loved her for that.

Monday morning, I took Cathy to a complex of industrial-looking buildings on far southern outskirts of Orlando. We crawled uncertainly along seemingly endless rows of warehouses and loading docks until we came upon a single-story building set off from the rest, with just a "Doctor's Office" sign planted in front of the hedge that neatly blocked all the windows and the door from the view of passers-by.

Cathy had become increasingly nervous over the weekend and we sat in the car for a few minutes while she gathered her nerve.

"You sure about this? You don't have to do it today you know," I offered.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure."

"PRETTY sure? There's no undoing this, honey."

She bit her lip, "I know, I know! Tell me I'm doing the right thing!"

"You are doing the right thing," I said flatly. "Actually, I can't tell you that. I don't want you throwing it back at me someday that I told you to do this. It's ALL you, baby."

"Don't say 'baby'!" she said, not looking at me.

"Sorry."

Cathy flicked her cigarette out the window, looked at me and said, "OK, let's go in."



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