A certain tall sexy blogger and I met up at the Tower Records on Broadway on Wednesday to attend the in-store appearance of another tall sexy blogger (and globally famous rock icon) Bob Mould, who was there signing copies of his just-released-on-Tuesday album, Body Of Song.
Waiting in line to meet Bob was a nice collection of old school Husker Du and Sugar fans, as well as some young puppies who weren't even born yet when the Godfather Of Alternative was ruling the college airwaves. Still, I was impressed to see a couple of them clutching their dog-eared copies of Zen Arcade and New Day Rising, probably purchased from collectors or passed down to them by their fathers. Wait, make that "passed down to them from their older brothers", because after all, Bob is younger than I am, OK?
I purchased the Deluxe Limited Edition Box Set of "Body Of Song", one of the most elaborate box set packages I've seen. The contents are wrapped in a soft felt, almost a chamoise material, and include a sheaf of gorgeous photos on a transparent sort of paper (vellum?), as well as a bonus CD with a host of non-album tracks and two Rich Morel "Pink Noise" mixes of "(Shine Your) Light Love Hope", which has been at the top of my iTunes Most Played list for several months now. I heard Rich spin one of these mixes at Blowoff a couple of months ago and I've been dying to get my hands on it.
A few hours later, I dropped in at Hi-Fi for the Body Of Song listening party, where I found Bob in a throng of admirers. The evening took an unexpected turn into comedy when a tiny drunk girl threatened several times to kill me, for allegedly pushing her equally drunk boyfriend off his barstool. She grabbed my elbow and slurred, "Who the FUCK do you think you are? I am from Providence, Rhode Island and I will fucking KILL YOU!"
I looked down at her, said "OK," and turned back to my conversation.
She started screeching, "I mean it! I'm am from Providence, Rhode Island and YOU are FAT! You are SHORT! And you are OLD! And I will fucking KILL YOU!"
Again, I looked down at her, said "OK," and turned back to my conversation.
Bob and other guys were giving me questioning looks, so I said "This girl here is from Providence, Rhode Island and she wants to fucking kill me. She thinks I pushed her boyfriend off his barstool, which I must have done with my mind because I'm standing over here with you."
I guess Bob Mould has some kind of magic charm with the ladies, because in an instant the tiny girl was nothing but smiles and wanted to hug and kiss him, and then I got the same treatment. She even posed for my camera. Her boyfriend joined her and helped her pull her shirt up to flash her tiny boobs, while my camera flashed back. I considered posting that picture in this story, but decided that posting unflattering pictures of drunken bar patrons was something only a true scumbag would do.
After Hi-Fi, we trooped over to Nowhere Bar for Runt, their weekly celebration of short dudes, hosted by Magnetic Fields' Stephen Merritt. As a gimmick, the doorman puts a sticker on your shirt to announce your height. He gave me a sticker that said 5'8", which made me oddly happy. An hour or so later, Bob was tired, I was tired, and we all scattered into cabs and I got home to give my copy of Body Of Song its first spin.
And folks, it's fantastic.
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