Open Mic / Cock=Career

Making the internet sizzle last week was the fantastically unshocking, not-news-to-anybody Dutch survey which says that gay men link their self-esteem to their penis size. Really? Somebody was paid to figure this out? And does anybody think that straight men are not similarly afflicted?

A few of the ladies in my office and I had a chat about this, and interestingly they share the opinion that not only does penis size affect mens' personal self-esteem, it drives men into certain professions. For example, they think that a lot of cops have small cocks, giving them control issues and they then enter the police force to satisfy a lust for domination that their wee wees cannot give them. Similarly, they think that professions that require a lot of self-confidence, like rock musicians, tend to attract the cockasauruses out there.

I'm kind of fascinated by this concept of cock=career. What do you think about this? How would you rank the following professions in terms of likely hungtacity?

• Bartender
• Pilot
• Computer Tech
• Rock Star
• Lawyer
• Actor
• Politician
• Cop

Is there another profession that you feel is heavily skewed in one way or the other?