Just as a bunch of us were getting ready to don nifty party hats, click the heels of our dazzlin' Ruby Red slippers, and mirthfully break into a raucous rendition of Oz's - "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" - I received a curious e-mail from Hillary's pride and ultimate joy, the lovely Chelsea Clinton. The e-mail, personally addressed to me, noted Hillary and Chelsea needed my help in making a critical decision!
At the precise moment I perused the heartfelt message, my inclination was to zip off an emotionally-charged e-mail myself.
"Get out while you can. Gracefully, if it's a possibility at this stage of the game."
But alas, Chelsea - like her parents - was inclined to flag a dead horse.
She was writing to ask that I vote on a t-shirt they'd like to put into commission for the next phase of their presidential campaign.
Yeah, that thump you heard was my jaw falling with a thud to the floor.
Chelsea proceeded with the kind of zest and enthusiasm only she could muster up,
"We recently launched a contest to design a campaign t-shirt and I couldn't believe the incredible response (nor could I). We got thousands of great entries (from the political pundits, I expect). They were creative (2 primary colors), inspirational (stump for Hillary. Hump for Bill), funny (We don't have no stinking papers), and beautiful (latest publicity stills of Hillary's derriere, no doubt). It was amazing to see the devotion to my mom's campaign come through in each t-shirt (one size fits all)."
Suffice to say, I was not aware there was any hipster fashion focus underway in the waning political dynasty realms.
I guess little things like putting gas in the car, paying the mortgage, and trotting off to the mailbox to see if my rebate check had arrived yet, have kept my thoughts focused elsewhere!
Chelsea (she is a sweet gal, isn't she?) continued with her snake-oil pitch,
"It wasn't easy to narrow it down, but we've chosen five we think are particularly great, and now we need your help in making our final decision. Please vote for your favorite design. The winning shirt will go on sale in our online campaign store."
Well, if the t-shirt offering is a cute way to raise much-needed cash, then God be with her.
However, if the purpose of the selection is to select a "t" for the next rally, I'd say, cut the losses and spring for lunch for the volunteers, instead
After all, Chelsea, the red carpet has been yanked out from under your Mother's sensible shoes - and if you hadn't noticed - the parade is chasing after the great white (and black) hope - Barack Obama - intoxicated with the idea of change, not casual outerwear!
To humor Ms. Clinton, I offered up some suggestions to chew on.
I kinda' like the the one that shows the four faces of Eve - um - Hillary.
While Clinton supporters would argue that the "t" depicts the many facets of Hillary's capabilities, others might stridently zero in on the image - and astutely note - it hones in on the duplicity of her character (doubled, for good measure).
The one about being knocked up - er - down is catchy. Yeah, we all know how Hillary came up from the school of hard knocks and what a feisty pit bull she can be when push comes to shove. I'm inclined to lean on a vote this way, myself.
But, the pant suit statement said it best.
The subtle inference - and a lesson well-learned - from a lady trying to crash the Old Boys' Network? When in a man's world, play hardball. Tease him with the fact you look better in a smart suit than the "suits" themselves.
They're sure to exclude 'ya, alright.
