LaDonna Andrea Gaines

I had an odd dream last night.

I dreamt I was having dinner in that decrepit, used-up Howard Johnson's restaurant in Times Square, when they seated Donna Summer in the booth next to mine. In my dream, I knew it was a dream, and I wondered to myself if the restaurant was a metaphor for Donna's career.

Nevertheless, I was not about to waste an opportunity to speak to the Queen Of Disco, even if it was in a dream. I wanted to tell her what a huge fan I had been for almost 30 years. I wanted to tell her how I knew her real name (LaDonna Gaines) and that I knew her birthday (December 31st) and that I could sing the song she wrote about her first child (Mimi's Song). I wanted to tell her about the time that I went to see her in concert in St.Petersburg, Florida, back in 1978.

But instead, I told her about the time that my college roommate came home unexpectedly and found me vacuuming in the nude, while loudly singing along to Try Me, I Know We Can Make It. Donna laughed and nodded and went back to reading her menu.

Then I wanted to talk about her Grammys and her platinum & gold records, and tell her that Once Upon A Time is still my single favorite album of all time, but for some reason I mentioned her wig. I don't know why I mentioned her wig, but I did. So she took it off and handed it to me. I looked at her wig in my hands and looked back at her, but she wasn't Donna Summer anymore. She was the dad in Diff'rent Strokes.

Like I said, it was an odd dream.

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