Well, old soldier-boy with the machine-gun mentality, sure fired off a mouthful of slugs helter-skelter this week.
Allegedly pi**ed over a raft of biting barbs flung his way from bloggers and pundits alike, the old war horse dusted off the artillery and took a few pot shots at a whole posse of 'em.
A few zingers about his bad temper, curious dalliances with a multitude of lobbyists, and his overall inclination towards rusty "antiquity", got his goat so-to-speak.
Lamenting that he was "up to here" (where that is, we're not sure) with their scurrilous antics, he was inclined to pose a scintillating question to confidants, devoted family members, and newsies at Fox.
"What do you call a hundred-thousand bloggers bound in chains at the bottom of the ocean?"
When the faithful reacted in shock to the answer - "The first month of my presidential administration" - I expect he was cackling away maniacally in the war room at the Pentagon.
Yeah, the paranoid little scrapper doesn't have a foot in the White House yet, and he's already engaged in maneuvers to obliterate a hostile coalition in the trenches he imagines is out to oust him.
Even if it takes him a hundred years, I expect.
The old gas bag rubbed his hands with glee when he revealed to a captive press his intention to replace those nagging bloggers ("sniping bastards") with intelligent (yet loyal) robots manufactured "right here in the United States".
Mr. McCain, I thought that locally-manned factories went the way of the rhino - um - Dinosaur?
Ever heard of the term "outsourcing", Sir?
"As for the losers who comment on blogs, letters to the editor, or call-in TV talk shows," Mr. McCain continued, "I will substitute charming chimpanzees to do the same job."
Well, as long as they're not combative, John. Charm we can live with.
He'll no doubt enlist 'em from his circle of friends and supporters who are inclined to charmingly ape each other, anyway.
Ironically, some of Mr. McCain's "most vocally corrosive detractors" - according to one astute newspaper reporter - "come from his own GOP Party".
Mr. Cheney - remember him? - was so incensed by McCain's outrageous conduct that he mentioned to a handful of constituents in passing that he'd like to tie McCain to a porch and beat him with a stick.
Unfortunately, Bush's "Dick" is too short to carry out the task.
Ouch!
Well, that's the first worthwhile effort that Mr. Cheney (he is VP, isn't he?) to the national dialogue in recent days.
The White House shadow was downright adamant that politicians shouldn't wax poetic about that kind of idle cocktail chatter when they're running for office.
So, I guess McCain has outed himself, in some respects.
Imagine, on the heels of Obama's big-win Tuesday, he's already losin' it.
In fact, a number of bizarre comments uttered in the heat of the moment have signaled just how balmy Mr. McCain is.
For instance, if he had his druthers, he'd take the Internet Information Highway hostage, too.
"America has lost its competitive advantage due to employees wasting time on the Internet all day long while they're at work," Mr. McCain said.
Say what?
I thought it's because we're in an expensive unpopular war scorned upon by the world.
You're just jealous because you don't know how to turn a PC on, John.
The gnarly sexy senior sure has demonstrated an eloquence when it comes to the spoken word, too, hasn't he?
"They want to open Hotmail or the Google I say they should open a big can of shut the hell up."
Sounds tasty. Can you microwave that?
Is he just envious because he doesn't know what a link is?
Oh, the man prostesteth too much.
He zips off communications by telegram, after all. Just how archaic is that?
Maybe it's time to put down the walkie-talkie, ole boy.
You need to join myspace and make a friend or two.
And, boldly go where you and your cronies have never ventured before, the real world!
John, quite the girly-man...
