Don't get busted using these lame explanations for breaking the law …
We've all been there. Seeing the cherries flashing in the rear-view mirror and wondering if you have enough patience, skill and chutzpah to try and talk your way out of a ticket. The key is being prepared, though. Having a standard answer in your mind beforehand will keep you from looking foolish, and keep you off MSN Autos Canada's list of worst speeding excuses.
Donut jokes
Apparently insulting an officer isn't an effective tool for getting out of a traffic stop ... When the officer asks why you were going so fast, don't reply: "Tim Hortons has half-price donuts down the road and I was clearing the way for you." It might make you chuckle, but it won't win you any points with the officer - other than demerits, that is!
Call of nature
Petra Cleary, of Washington D.C., tried the old 'Call of Nature' excuse. "I told a State Trooper I was speeding because I had to use the bathroom. He told me where the closet restroom was located, followed me and wrote my ticket in the parking lot as I ran inside to use the bathroom." At least they didn't follow her in the stall to be sure...
Passing to avoid paint chips
One excuse where backing off the gas would have been the better option: "I was passing a truck spitting up stones." This excuse won't work because the officer doesn't care about paint chips while you're hitting 4,000 rpm in third. Better that you spend $100 on your insurance deductible than $300 for reckless driving.
Excuses involving outer space
Christine Pulliam works at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics in Cambridge, Mass., and can't believe the 'out of this world' excuses people create. "I once had a woman call to ask if a solar eruption could affect radar guns. Her son had been pulled over for speeding and she was just sure it was a problem with the radar and not his driving! I had to gently let her down and tell her that no, solar storms don't have any effect on traffic radar."
Running late for a date
Josh Palubicki, of Wisconsin, had no regard for speed limits as he went zipping down a local county road at 100 mph (160 km/h). "The cop was coming the opposite direction but turned his lights on. When I went to court for the ticket the judge asked why on earth I was driving 100 mph (160 km/h) on a county road. I quickly told him that I was late for a movie with a really cute girl. Then I got an earful for about 15 minutes about how young and dumb I was."
Uncontrolled acceleration
John Waite, CVOR Division Manager for X-Copper Legal Services in Toronto, has heard them all. One of his new favourites? "My car is a 2010 Corolla, and Toyota just released a recall for acceleration. It's all over the news, and the officer still charged me!" Wonder if you can get speeding tickets recalled?
Running out of gas
Another of Waite's pearls just defies logic: "I was low on gas so I wanted to make sure I had enough speed to coast home." Obviously not a physics major then. The burn rate needed to get up to cruising speed would negate any freewheeling later. I can already picture judges shaking their heads in disbelief.
Performance testing
Philip Coffaro of Florida said that he got nailed while trying to show off his new BMW M3 to a family member visiting from England. "I rapidly accelerated to 90 mph (145 km/h). Cop pulled me over. I said I was showing off how quick car was." Unfortunately, performance testing on a highway is frowned upon by the local constabulary ...
"I was only going 10 km over"
"I wasn't speeding, I was only going 10 km over," presumes that there's the speed limit, and then there's the nudge-nudge-wink-wink "speed limit." So apparently there's now speeding and speeding, like some secret society of Illuminati and Masons that allow some people to legally drive faster than others. Unfortunately, there's only one kind of fine ... the expensive kind.
Beginner's (bad) luck
Waite's final excuse is a mind-bender: "I didn't want to get caught driving unaccompanied with my beginner's licence." You certainly did a fine job of blending in then. With that sort of logic on tap, this bright mind will surely find a place in politics later in life.
