Teabaggers Losing Their Damned Minds

Not that many of them had much of one to lose to begin with, but the teabaggers are now resorting to the T word to express their racist Republistoked anger at the passage of health care reform.

Terrorism.

Let's call these people what they are and what Rep. Bart Stupak rightfully called them. Domestic terrorists.

I don't like and have zero tolerance or respect for the Tea Klux Klan, especially after last weekend's disgusting display protesting a bill that will prevent the insurance companies from denying them coverage due to a nebulous list of preexisting conditions.

The Tea Klux Klan is 75% Republican and monoracial. It's an Astroturfed movement that claims it's not racist, but hurl racist and homophobic slurs at African-American, Latino/a, Jewish and gay legislators. Your protest rallies are monoracial affairs filled with racist signs showing your breathtaking levels of miseducation to the world.

And note to Dale Robertson, founder of the teabaggers, 'nigger' is not spelled with an 'a' in it.

What we have is the spectacle of white people behaving badly, just like their pointed hood wearing, Confederate flag waving parents and grandparents did the last time we engaged in passing ground breaking progressive legislation in the 60's.

Nullification didn't work then, and it won't work in the 2K10's.

Turn off the Fox Noise, right wing talk radio and read a fracking book that's not penned by Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh.

As Parliament-Funkadelic once sang, free your mind and your ass will follow. But if you want to follow the GOP off the cliff of irrelevance, be our guests.

But we're putting you peeps on notice that we're going to fight harder for our vision of an America that works for everybody who lives here. We are not going to allow large numbers of stupid people to vote us back to the 19th century.

Not this time, in 2012, 2014, not ever.

Been there, done that.

Thoughts On Health Care Reform Passage

While I was in Oneonta I watched the contentious debate before the House vote on the health Care reform bill late Sunday night-early Monday morning.

While I'm not happy about it and want nothing less than universal single payer health care (or Medicare for all), it's a starting point.

If we liberals all agree that Medicare for All is a worthy goal, then our first order of business is to show up to the polls en masse in November. We need to defend the legislators that braved Tea Klux Klan attacks to vote for the bill and show that there's a political upside to passing groundbreaking legislation, not a penalty.

These folks will face unrelenting levels of ignorance from now until November. Some have been spat on called derogatory names, and had bricks thrown through their office windows. The brownshirt tactics need to be repudiated.

We need to stand up and fight just as fiercely for our value and ideaas just as fiercely as the Tea Klux Klan does for their misguided ones. We would ideally like to do it with more dignity and class than they do.

But if they want to act like nekulturny WWE wrestlers, so be it. Bring on the political brass knuckles, the sharp tongued rhetoric and kick their behinds.

Liberal does not mean wimp, and we need to reinforce that fact to these America hating fools on a regular basis. We need to stop being scared of stupid people, lead and start being the 'A' students that were mandated in 2008 with cleaning up the mess the conservative 'D' students left.

We also need to regularly point out, compare and contrast the superiority and fairness of liberalism to their failed, selfish and predominately monoracial political philosophy.

Leadership means you have to make some tough choices that are not politically popular. Let us as liberals and proud Democrats always make sure we are on the side of people who seek justice and fairness.

Let's make sure we do what's right, not what's right wing.

When America is at its freest and fairest, its because it practiced and espoused liberal values. We regress as a country to dark, sinister places when conservative selfishness rules the day.

The bill that passed and was signed by President Obama Tuesday tells the world that we're tired of being the only country without universal health care coverage for its citizens. We're tired of being 49th in health care issues and are finally joining the rest of the industrialized world to emphatically acknowledge what they did decades ago.

Health care is a right, not a rich person's only privilege.

Confessions Of A Chocoholic

I have an addition I'm not ever going to get treated for.

I'm addicted to chocolate.

Be it light, dark, white, whatever, the TransGriot like any estrogen based lifeform loves her some chocolate.

I have inhaled entire bags of Hershey's Kisses in two hours or less. Chocolate bars are not safe anywhere around me and neither are plain M&M's.

That love of chocolate extends to chocolate cake, chocolate cheesecake or any cheesecake with chocolate swirled in it, chocolate ice cream and chocolate shakes.

Hmm, just talking about chocolate is making me fiend for it.

And on that note, it's time to go get some. Have a feeling I'll be consuming mass quantities of it tonight.

I Don't Have Anything To Be Ashamed Of...But You Do

One of the battles we transwomen constantly wage in order to be our authentic selves is the war against shame and guilt.

A portion of it is an internal struggle we wage in terms of getting over the negative programming of our youth and young adulthood. Another portion of the shame and guilt we battle is from society and people pimping a failed political philosophy.

And most maddening is the shame and guilt coming from the one institution that should be the most supportive of our struggle, the church.

Well, news flash for all you people peddling shame and guilt on one level or another. I don't have anything as a transperson to be ashamed of.

But you do.

All you gay and straight folks who are fighting trans civil rights need to be ashamed of yourselves, not me.

All you people who are hating on me and my transsisters because we go the extra mile to be the best people we can be while being true to our authentic selves need to be ashamed of yourselves, not me.

All you people who have actively participated in visiting violence upon transpeople need to be ashamed of yourselves, not me.

All of you 'religious' people who quote Bible verses out of context and are trying to spin them into an anti-transgender religious doctrine where none exists need to be ashamed of yourselves, not me.

All of you people who claim that I'm not part of the African American community because I transitioned need to be ashamed of yourselves, not me.

All of you gay and lesbian people who claim we are not part of the GLBT/SGL community need to be ashamed of yourselves, not me.

And all of you politicians who are working hard to keep transpeople from becoming contributing members of society just so that you can stay in elective office need to be ashamed of yourselves, not me.

It has been a long, hard pothole filled road to get to this point in my life where I love this Phenomenal Transwoman.

I stand tall in the morphed body I inhabit. I express my pride and joy in loving the reflection that stares back at me in the mirror. I revel in the life journey as an estrogen based lifeform and say 'bless them' to the 'christian' people that curse me.

I don't have anything to be ashamed of, but you do.

Me Time Today

Taking the day off from TransGriot to recharge my creative and personal batteries.

I'm battling writer's block in addition to prepping for two Trans 101 discussions. I also am dealing with a chaotic week doing interviews for local candidates vying for our GLBT PAC endorsement.

So yeah, need a break today.

Will get back to you loyal readers with some fresh content tomorrow or if some inspired thought, idea or some fool pissing me off moves me enough to write about it.

Happy Valentine's Day Y'all!

Today is Valentines Day.

For those of y'all who put a ring on it, are about to, or have hooked up with that special someone, it's a wonderful day filled with love and romance for you.

For people like myself who are still single, different story. We're buying our own chocolate and taking ourselves to dinner.

At any rate, I'm not hatin' on you coupled peeps, just envious that you were fortunate enough to find someone to share your lives with and I wish you the best.

Here's a link to some of my past Valentine's day musings as I continue to scarf up my chocolate and play my Luther CD's

Now where's that chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream?

You Don't Have The Right To Deny Me My Rights

No man has a natural right to commit aggression on the equal rights of another, and this is all from which the laws ought to restrain him.

Even though Thomas Jefferson didn't practice what he preached in his own life as a slaveholder, he was right on target as usual concerning this subject.

The Bill of Rights, the first ten amendments to the United States Constitution contains many basic human rights we hold dear as American citizens. But nowhere in it does it say or even imply that the majority has the right to take away the civil rights of a minority group it despises.

But then again most of the peeps with that attitude never read the Constitution.

I fail to understand why some people arrogantly think that they should have a say in who does or doesn't get civil rights coverage, much less think they should vote on it.

Methinks they would have a very different opinion about the subject if it were their civil rights on the electoral chopping block.

One of the things I am really sick of is the use of referenda by conservatives to take away the civil rights of people they hate on. It's also more odious when they do so to drive their turnout to the polls in national election cycles.

This practice causes resentments to build up in the minority group targeted by that nefarious action, is counterproductive to building a unified and strong nation and should be banned.

No, you don't have the right to deny me my rights. Mine nor anyone's civil rights should be decided by the tyranny of the majority.

You Can Take The Girl Out Of Texas...

But as I've discovered over the last eight years of being a Texan in exile, you can't take the Texas out of the girl.

The time I've spent in Louisville and the state of Kentucky has been an interesting part of my life. I've met and made some wonderful friends here and needed the change of scenery back in 2001. I've been embraced by the progressive community, met some of the movers and shakers here and had delightful days at Keeneland.

I'm only a ten hour drive from Washington DC, five hour drive from Chicago, four from St Louis, two from Cincinnati, Indianapolis and Nashville, seven hours from Charlotte and six from the ATL.

And Impellizzeri's and Spinelli's pizza is the bomb along with Adam Matthew's cheesecake and Derby Pie.

But despite all the positive experiences, it ain't home despite the fact they sell Blue Bell up here. I'm just simply a Texan who misses Texas.

The recent bus trip I took back to Houston was the best Christmas I'd had in eight years in addition to being a microcosm of the last decade of my life. I just seemed to come alive when I crossed the Mississippi River, the Texas state line, the Harris County line and entered the Houston city limits. I don't get that same feeling when I'm crossing the Mississippi heading east, the Kentucky border or into the Louisville city limits.

My homegirl Jo Tittsworth reminded me when we were eating at Katz's in Montrose and I was happily scarfing up their caramel fudge cheesecake that you can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take the Texas out of the girl.

I pondered that comment on the long ride back to Da Ville and she's right. I'm a Texas girl who misses everything about it.

I miss high school football Texas style. My childhood friends. Mom and pop barbecue stands on every corner along with fresh seafood. Tex-Mex. Pop top stadiums and professional sports. Having two HBCU's in my backyard like Texas Southern and Prairie View A&M. The Ensemble.

I miss being a 30 minute drive from the Gulf of Mexico or being a five hour drive down I-10 from New Orleans. I miss the bluebonnets blooming alongside the highways in the area. I miss being two hour drives away from Austin, rolling west on I-10 toward San Antonio and being four hours from Dallas up I-45.

I miss knowing with certainty that when one of my favorite artists does a concert tour I won't have to drive several hours to a neighboring city in another state to see them.

I also miss 60 degree weather in January. These single digit temperatures are for the birds but I did adapt to it.

But a lot of my pining for the Lone Star State has to do with the bulk of my family living in either Dallas or Houston and spending most of my life on the Gulf Coast. I have unfinished business in Houston that calls out for resolution as well.

During my time as a Texan in exile I've evolved and grown a bit toward becoming a proud African descended Phenomenal Transwoman. When I arrived in 2001 I was embraced by the local progressive community and my church family here and it was deeply appreciated at a time when I was in a down period of my life. Dawn, AC, Susan, Karen and her nieces are my family up here, and it's been an interesting eight years getting to know them better.

I've tried to do my part in the time I've lived in Louisville to make the city and the state a little better than it was when I arrived.

Maybe it's time for me to do the same back home.

The Choice Is Clear

Since this is Black History Month, I think this is an appropriate time to post this fresh for the 2K10 wake up call.

Don't think because I and other peeps haven't mentioned it for a few months that our pissivity over being ignored or not called for hearings, White House events, or television appearances when they pertain to educating the general public on transgender issues has gone away.

The African descended trans community is fed up with the racism and being demonized and marginalized while taking the brunt of the anti-trans violence.

We are increasingly sick and tired of being in Fannie Lou Hamer mode about the jacked up situation we find ourselves in and more than a little frustrated with the white run trans movement right now.

It's a movement that seems like it's hellbent on replicating the same failed 'just like you' political strategy that has plagued the GL movement and stalled its legislative progress while ignoring the fact that the main thing all transpeeps need are jobs, jobs, jobs and legislative protection to keep them.

New decade, new rules.

Some of y'all may like the status quo, but African descended trans people definitely aren't feeling it.

I continue to hear that frustration expressed from African descended trans leaders and other trans people across the country. There's a restlessness, awareness and growing dissatisfaction with our lack of visibility and participation in setting the trans community political agenda.

And the racism is only pouring gasoline on the smoldering resentment.

There's growing sentiment that we handle our business just like our grandparents and great grandparents did when they found themselves being disrespected and shut out of power from white-run institutions.

Form our own.

Once again, you can either take this as the warning it's untended to be, or continue listening to the peeps that have mishandled this situation, slimed the messenger and pooh-pooh it.

There is a chasm developing between the African descended trans community and the European descended one. It's either voluntarily do the morally correct and sensible thing on your own or else the divide will become as wide as the Grand Canyon.

And when that happens, you will find yourselves in the same predicament feminism is currently in.

You'll wake up one day to discover the Transgender Talented Tenth have risen up to bid you goodbye and good luck as we take control of our own destinies.

You'll find yourself at that moment, just as feminism did in the late 80's early 90's, staring at an African-American led and run trans movement that neither wants or will be inclined to include you.

With prudent positive action, you may avoid the fate of feminism, but the clock is ticking.

Choose wisely.

Would Moni Join A Sorority If They Sincerely Wanted This Transsistah As A Member?

When I was matriculating in college, every Wednesday and Friday for several weeks during the fall and spring semesters we UH Cougars would get to see the probates line up at noon in front of the UC.

There would be the usual testosterone fueled antics of the frats as they verbally dissed their brother orgs and get into the occasion pushing and shoving match. The ladies would be standing at perfectly coiffed attention in matching outfits in their various sorority colors as a gathered crowd of Greek and non Greek peeps watched the fun and festivities.

As I sat there as part of that gathered crowd focusing on the sisters, I felt a mix of emotions ranging from sadness to jealously because I was in the wrong body at the time for membership.

Well, now that the Phenomenal Transwoman has been honestly living her life for the past 16 years, the 102nd anniversary of the founding of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. has me pondering what would happen if I were given the honor of being extended an invitation to join one of those sororities.

After falling over in shock because it happened, then the serious questions would kick in related to the historic gravity of the situation.

As of this writing I'm not aware of any open transwoman members of a BGL sorority. I'm not aware if there have been any discussions at the organizational or the National Pan-Hellenic Council level on the parameters for admitting transpeople to BGLO organizations.

But with transpeople transitioning as early as elementary and middle school, sooner or later what I'm talking about here will come to pass.

Because of the scrutiny that I (or any first transperson) would get inside and outside the organization I'd have to ask myself do I not only want it bad enough, do I have the intestinal fortitude and the will to make it happen?

If I can deal with a gender transition, pledging would seem anticlimactic compared to that. But then again, I'd have to go through it to know for certain how difficult it is to be able to honestly make that comparison.

I'd be doing so knowing that a microscope would be on me in the BGL sorority world, that particular organization, that particular chapter and inside the chapter of that org who extended me the invitation to join.

I'd come in knowing that I would have to be better than the average incoming pledge, be willing to accept that challenge, and know that how well I do will determine whether future transpeople would follow in my footsteps.

BGL sororities are moving into their second century of service to our community. They have grown to be international organizations with over a half million women as members encompassing a wide spectrum of fields and legions of trailblazing women. I would want to be a compliment to that tradition of excellence, not a detriment to it.

BGL sororities have welcomed women of different ethnic backgrounds into their ranks for over 50 years, and it's a matter of time before transwomen who are down with what these organizations stand for are permitted to join.

So would Moni join a sorority if one extended her an invitation to join?

Yep. In a heartbeat.

A Quality Black Woman Needs Quality People Surrounding Her

As I've stated before, I consider myself to be on an evolutionary path to become a quality black woman.

I have my days in which that road is surprisingly smooth and drama free, while others are full of potholes I either run into unexpectedly or see in enough time to avoid them.

One of the things that is vitally important as you embark upon this journey besides the spiritual roadmap, love of and confidence in yourself and a little divatude is having quality people around you in your sistah circle.

They not only have to be people who have various positive qualities you admire and wish to emulate, they must be people you know beyond a shadow of a doubt have your back. You need to have people in your life who will call you on your BS, give you a hug and positive reinforcement when you're down, praise you when you deserve it and give you a swift motivational kick in the rear when it becomes necessary.

If that cluster of people surrounding you in love happens to be older, younger, multiethnic, multicultural, cis, LGB or trans, blood relatives or relatives you chose, so much the better.

While it's important as a trans person that you have the sistah circle as part of the journey to quality Black womanhood, the cadre of quality people surrounding you also needs some testosterone based lifeforms in it. There are times when you will need to hear the male point of view as well.

I am blessed to have such a group of people surrounding me, and constantly challenging me to be a better person today than I was the day before. I can count on them to be chewing on my behind to ensure I'm a better person next week, next month, six months from now and next year.

And as a person striving to be a quality Black woman, I want to be farther down the evolutionary path than I am at the moment I am composing this post today.

Moni's 2010 New Year's Resolutions

Every year I make resolutions at the beginning of the year that I do try to keep.

That's just me and the way I am. I like having concrete goals that I work to try to achieve. Making resolutions and writing them down gives me a way of not only checking my progress towards that goal I set at the beginning of the year but gives me a sense of accomplishment and a sense of pride when I do make it happen.

So with that being said, what are Moni's Resolutions for 2010?

*I want to get down to 210 pounds from the 228 I'm at as of January 1, 2010. Have to work off the extra weight I picked up when I went back to Houston and got spoiled rotten for Christmas.

*I want to publish one of my fiction writing manuscripts by January 2011.

*I will set aside time to do fiction writing and complete the trans themed manuscript I've been working on.

*In doing my part for the African American Transsisterhood Initiative, I am going to get to know 10 transwomen I don't currently talk to on a regular basis.

*I will continue to work on evolving into the quality Black woman I want to be and strive to take and make more quality time for myself.

*I will make five new friends before the end of the year.

*I will get to know and have regular conversations with ten international trans people

*I will do a better job of staying in contact with family members and the friends I already have in my life.

Those are nice to start with. You can check back dear readers on January 1, 2011 and see how well I did in achieving them.

Happy New Year! Happy New Decade! Happy Anniversary TransGriot Blog!

Today marks not only the start of a new year and a new decade as we wave goodbye to the 2K's and usher in the 2K1's, it's also the anniversary of the start of my TransGriot blog.

On January 1, 2006 at 12:28 AM EST the first of over 2000 posts went up on TransGriot.

I remember how shocked and happy I was when I installed the hit counter and realized that 400 people a day at the time actually read what I wrote.

Well, I'm still going and having fun writing posts on this blog on various subjects, and I thank you long time an new readers fir being there along the way.

The last day of the opening decade of the 21st century has faded into history. May the first day of 2010 and the rest of the 2K1's decade be a lot better for all of us and this blog as well.

I'm Finally Home

Well, after 23 hours, several bus transfers and 9 plus years, I'm finally standing inside the Houston city limits during the Christmas holidays.

My bus just pulled into the Greyhound station here in H-town, and I'm getting a first hand look at how much things have changed since my last trip here.

The METRORail light rail line that runs from UH Downtown through Hermann Park and the Med Center to Reliant Stadium runs right past it.

I'm going to probably take an up and down trip on the line just to give me something to do on one of my days here I'm waiting to hook up with Crys, Ness, the gang at IAH and my family.

Hoping my first time home for Christmas since 2000 will be drama free, but only time will tell.

The African-American Transsisterhood Initiative

Transpeople make up about 3% of the 36 million people that identify as African-American.

The 2Ks will be over in about two weeks and yet we still have problems in the African American transgender community with not knowing our history, not having working relationships with each other and not knowing other African American transpeople.

Well, the 2K10's will be starting soon. One of the things I have constantly complained about is the lack of national community and infrastructure we African descended transpeople have vis a vis our white transsisters. We need our own, and we needed it like yesterday.

To quote Kwame Toure, 'In order to participate in the greater society, we must first close ranks.' When I say African descended transpeople must close ranks, I'm talking about following the historic examples of our cis ancestors, parents, grandparents and great grandparents.

Just as they gathered together to form the organizations, fraternities, sororities and other self help groups that are household names in our communities today, that same spirit of collective organization needs to happen in the African American trans community as well.

I'm blessed to know and have the acquaintances of many African American transpeople in various locales around the country. Some are activists, some aren't. What I would like to do is step it up another level and build lasting, lifelong friendships with many of these wonderful folks as well.

So here's how I envision and propose we do that.

We are hooked up on one level or another on Facebook or other social networking media. We can start by resolving in 2010 and beyond to get to know 5 African descended transpeople you didn't have a lot of communication with or face time this year. We should also include in this effort African descended transwomen that aren't on the Net as well.

Your job as part of the African American Transsisterhood Initiative will be to select five people you've wanted to get to know as friends, and for one year do exactly that. Where they live doesn't matter. They can live in your city or outside of it, but one member of your sisterhood circle must be younger than you, another must be older than you. You can even do more than five people if you wish.

That way as you're getting to know your five peeps, you are getting to partake of the wisdom of your trans elders and your trans younglings.

That education will also be a two way street because we senior trans mamas can kick knowledge about our lives, our history and mentor our trans younglings.

At the same time we get the benefit of finding our more about the lives of our trans younglings, and they can enlighten us with fresh perspectives of looking at issues that will benefit both us and the entire AA transgender community.

One of the things that has immensely helped my growth on my feminine journey is to have been included in the sisterhood networks of some of my cis women friends. They have had my back on many issues, been a font of wisdom and knowledge when it comes to getting my gender act together, have helped me grow spiritually and get better attuned to living life as a Black woman.

At the same time me being the transwoman of the crew has opened their eyes to some of the issues I and other transwomen deal with as well and helped them realize there's not much besides superficial differences between a ciswoman or a transwoman.

I believe we African descended transwomen can benefit from forming sisterhood networks with each other, and what better time to do so than at the start of a new decade, the 2010's.

Let's resolve to finally do the work to make this decade one in which Black transwomen take control of their destinies, not be passive spectators in what happens and begin to make serious moves to take our rightful place at the African American family table.

The first and I believe the easiest step in the long journey to do that is getting to know and becoming friends with the Phenomenal Transwomen that are in our midst.

A Trans Houstonian Reflects On Annise's Win

TransGriot Note: My latest post for the Bilerico Project;

As many of you Projectors already know, Annise Parker handily won her runoff election race against city attorney Gene Locke Saturday night to become only the second woman elected as mayor of my hometown.

It was a watershed moment in GLBT history and GLBT politics as well as Houston became the largest city in the United States and the first in the Lone Star State to elect an openly gay mayor.

And best of all for me as a proud Houstonian and Texan, we beat Dallas to that distinction.

Hey, the rivalry between Houston and Dallas never dies.

Even though I was a thousand miles away at the time and bummed about it, I was still proud to see someone from our GLBT community rise to the highest office in our city.

In addition to her impressive political resume and compelling story, Annise has been a friend to the Houston trans community and had our back on our issues. She's a straight shooter who talks the talk and walks the walk. The Houston trans community enthusiastically supported her and volunteered in her successful city council runs in 1997 and 1999. Many of those vets were back for this nearly year long campaign.

Annise's election emphatically makes the case for something that I continually point out to people who live in blue states and have the misguided impression that relocation to GLBT meccas is the way to advance our cause.

We shouldn't be abandoning 'red states' to right wingers and never should have in the first place simply because they aren't San Francisco, Los Angeles or New York.. In some cases the advances in TBLG rights, LGBT history, BTLG culture, and GLBT politics have come out of red states.

GLBT people live all over this country, including 'red states'. Many of us grew up in locales like Houston and Texas and have mad love for them. It gives us the impetus and the incentive to want to stay, fight and do the work to make them better, more progressive places to live.

And in many cases, because we 'red staters' have organized Christohaters in our midst that hate all of us GLBT peeps equally, we're better organized politically and as a community than you 'blue staters' to work in an intersectional manner.

We red staters have to have all hands on deck efforts in many cases just to keep our passed civil rights from being rolled back in referenda or restricted in the first place.

We don't have time to engage in the internecine warfare that roils some GLBT communities in blue states, and as we painfully found out in Houston in the early 80's, the only people we hurt when we do engage in it is ourselves.

Annise's election also sends the message that just because you are a GLBT red state resident, it doesn't disqualify you from serving in your city council, your county commission, your city's mayor's chair, your school board or your state house as long as you are open and honest about your life.

It's time for qualified GLBT peeps in red and blue states to dream big and aim higher politically.

Ray Hill, the dean of the Houston GLBT activist community, said this in the Houston Chronicle about Annise's win. “For me, it means 43 years of hard work has finally paid off. “For Houston, it means we have finally reached the point where being gay cannot be used as a wedge issue to divide the community and prevent us from reaching our aspirations. Annise Parker is not our mayor — she is the city's mayor.”

Damned right she is. She represents 2.2 million people, not just Montrose.

But I can't help still seeing at times the person I met at the Houston trans community's Unity Dinner and smiling about it.

It is going to be so cool to see Annise on January 1 standing in the Wortham Center once again standing next to Kathy, holding up her right hand, but this time taking the oath as the 61st mayor of Houston.

No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent

As transpeople we get buffered and whacked on a daily basis with so much negativity from people inside and outside our community. Some of that negativity hurled our way by our detractors is so insidious in nature we're not aware of it.

During the recent panel discussion I took part in at U of L during TDOR week, I had a ciswoman I was talking to after it was over about various subjects.

At one point in our conversation she switched subjects to ask me why wasn't I looking her directly in her eyes. The question caught me off guard for a moment, then she explained that she had the same problem and had to work on it as well, which is why she noticed it.

She went on to compliment me for being on point in the discussion, looking fly while doing so, and tell me about her struggle to get comfortable with her body and loving the sistah she's become after 41 years.

On the bus ride home the conversation triggered some hard solid thinking about some of the stuff I'd internalized and resolving to do a even better job of practicing what I preach.

The conversation reminded me of a quote from former First Lady and civil rights warrior Eleanor Roosevelt.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

Fighting those negative feelings is a 24-7-365 job (366 in a leap year). While all transpeople fight to stay grounded in spiritual positivity, for a transperson of color that can be a struggle at times.

Our self-esteem also gets additional daily assaults from the racism we have to deal with just maneuvering through life as a person of color and the internal transphobia within our communities of color.

We all knew when we began transition that our road to femininity was going to be a rough, pothole filled one at times. Ciswomen, as my friends have pointed out have to deal with crap as well on their feminine journeys, too.

We have nothing to be ashamed of because we are part of the wonderful mosaic of life and are wonderfully made in the Creator's image.

I take great pride in being a role model for this community and being the Phenomenal Transwoman I am. But even I fight on an almost daily basis to not let the negativity overwhelm me and get rid of the internalized baggage I'm aware of.

Yes, you have the power within yourselves to go through life and live it abundantly. Being trans is not an impediment to that.

And neither should we allow anyone to make us feel inferior without our consent.

Sometimes We Transwomen Can Be Our Own Harshest Critics

During the podcast interview Renee, Allison and I had with Isis a few weeks ago, we talked about the fact that some days, even though people are complimenting us left, right and center because we are working it, we still feel unpretty.

Frankly, we transwomen can be our own harshest critics when it comes to our appearance and how we interact with society.

For those of us who take our transitions seriously, being our authentic selves is important to us. We not only want to look the part, we want our actions and interactions with others to flow seamlessly in the key of life.

The desire to be as flawless as possible sometimes drives us to be hypercritical about how we present ourselves as the women we are or wonder if people are reading us as trans as we go out and about in the world.

It can lead us sometimes to feel as though we are in a perpetual femme realness ballroom competition, but with much higher stakes than just getting a series of tens from a panel of judges.

Failure in the real world to get that perfect score of passability can lead to anything from minor verbal abuse to extreme violence ending in your death. It is that backdrop of knowledge that sets up in a transwoman's mind the drive and the desire to get it right and blend in 100 percent of the time.

We transwomen discover at some point during our feminine journey even ciswomen don't approach that degree of accuracy in terms of their feminine presentation.

So why should we nitpickingly criticize ourselves for not meeting the 100 percent accuracy standard either?

Yes, we are gonna have our days where we feel that we don't nail our femme presentation. Just shrug it off, fight through it, and to borrow the line from an old commercial, never let 'em see you sweat because blending in is 90 percent confidence.

Stand up taller, look people in the eye, believe that you are the finest thing walking on Planet Earth and merrily strut through your day.

And when you get home, try not to beat yourself up over not reaching an impossible standard.

Do I Ever Get Tired Of Being A Role Model?

One of the questions I get asked often by many people I come in contact with is whether or not I get tired of being a role model.

Nope.

It comes with the territory of being a trans activist for over a decade. Many times the first contact a person may have had with an out African descended transperson is me.

I'm cognizant of the fact that as one of three African-American winners of the IFGE Trinity Award, I represent not only myself but an entire community.

One of the things I complain about from time to time was the lack of African descended trans role models when I was growing up back in the 70s.

I also remember the indifference, being dissed or ignored by the trans girls who had transitioned at the time before me. They guarded the knowledge of what to do, where to go, who to see and how to do it like it was the secret recipe for KFC.

One of the things I promised myself when I began transition was that if I were in the position to mentor or give advice on trans issues to younglings I wouldn't be as shady as some of my trans elders were.

Then there's my personal desire to be the best person I can be. I want my appearance to be on point, my dealings with people inside and outside this community to be ethical, transparent and above board, and my word be my bond.

Call me old fashioned, but those are the values I live by.

There's a saying we had posted in several TBLG bars back in Houston that I agree with.

What I do reflects on you
What you do reflects on me
What WE do reflects on the ENTIRE GLBT community

By living those values, I not only help myself, I help an entire community as well.

Then there's simply me living for me. I have a certain image I want to project to the world. I was blessed with God given intelligence I'm not dumbing down for anyone. I was blessed with looks, height and a lean body build that hormones enhanced.

It also looks good in most clothes that I put on my fine brown frame.

I come from a long line of classy, smart, educated, spiritually tuned in and elegantly dressed women proud of who they are, cognizant of their history, proud of their sororities and proud to be Black women.

I grew up being surrounded by numerous examples of those types of Black women outside my family as well. Those women are the ones I seek to emulate as I continue to evolve and grow into the type of Black woman I want to become.

As I have said numerous times and will repeatedly say it until I'm six feet under, I wish to be perceived as a compliment to womanhood, not an embarrassment or a detriment to it.

I strive to be the friend who has my sister's back be they cis or trans, not sticking my claws in it. As a Phenomenal Transwoman, I'm proud of who I am and don't see being Black and trans as something to be ashamed of.

So do I ever get tired of being a role model?

Nope. Somebody has to for an AA trans community that hasn't had over its history a whole lot of them to point to.