Gay Marriage...California Supreme Court denies "stay". Jay Leno to preside over mass ceremony June 17th.

Earlier today, with little ceremony, pomp or circumstance, the California Supreme Court denied a request for a "stay" of its ruling lifting the "ban" on gay marriage.

In a 4-3 ruling, the Justices stood by their controversial decision legalizing same-sex marriage in California and in the process a hurdle was straddled for gay couples to start tying the knot this month.

In fact, I just received word from a fellow "blogger" that on the heels of the news Jay Leno agreed to act as a Master of Ceremonies to preside over 250 Gay Weddings slated for June 17th, 2008.

Or am I being punked by you-know-who?

However, news reports are filtering in this afternoon that Jay definitely intends to make an appearance tomorrow night at "The Abbey" - one of West Hollywood's trendiest "it" bars - for a gay marriage celebration alongside Grey's Anatomy star T.R. Knight. (happy - um - gay).

There has been some speculation that it is Leno's good-guy gay attempt to make ammends to the LGBT community for what they deemed inappropriate behavior on the Tonight Show a short while ago.

The popular night-time talk show host cum-car-enthusiast sparked outrage among gay rights groups when he asked actor Ryan Phillippe to give him his "gayest look" during an interview.

Ouch!

Let's move on...

If you recall from a post a couple of days ago, this blog reported that Conservative religious groups previously asked the California Supreme Court to "stay" its order allowing state and local officials to start issuing wedding licenses mid-June until the issue could be voted on in a fall election.

In fact, the bold-faced efforts of those anti-gay-marriage "task forces" proved to be successful in recent days. Shortly after the initial ruling was handed down - in a wink - organizers snapped up enough signatures to qualify for the Nov. 4 ballot.

If the initiative passes muster in the fall it would overrule the court's decision by amending the state constitution to limit marriage to a man and a woman.

In spite of the fact an attorney strenuously argued that failure to grant the "stay" would result in great chaos across the nation, the Justices stuck by their gavels.

In fact - the four justices who rendered the decision today - were part 'n parcel of a majority opinion that found withholding marriage from same-sex couples constituted discrimination in the initial ruling.

In spite of the fact the hold-out dissenters on the bench thought a hearing on whether the stay should be granted was warranted, their pleas fell on deaf ears in the final hours.

As is usually the case in such high-profile court rulings, the majority did not elaborate on its reasons for denying the stay.

The one-page order saying its original ruling on marriage will stand and be final at 5 p.m. on June 16th will obviously become a treasured historical document for many.





Hillary and Obama not only public figures under glass...

Insomniac Cinema...comics resort to toilet humor! "Planet 9 from Outer Space" screens...

At the Insomniac Cinema screening of "Plan 9 from Outer Space" the other evening, management thought they would try a new experiment at their midnight show - live comedy!

Well, I guess you could say it went over like a lead balloon!

The audience responded to the little sideshow much like they would a nasty rash -maybe because it was the witchin' hour and they were tired - or due to the fact they were all hyped up and anxious to take in "Plan 9". I don't know!

The first comic was pleasant enough, but his jokes lacked bite - and humor!


Pre-requisites for a comedian, I expect.

However, he was such a sweet little nerdy-type, that the tough audience just kinda' batted him off like a pesky little insect, not annoying enough to crush underfoot.

But, the second comedian, well - when things didn't fair well - he went for the jugular!

It didn't help matters that there were three hecklers in the crowd who were funnier than he was. In fact, for a moment, I thought they were a plant - a part of the act - corralled to spice up the spot a tad.

At one point, the comic - from Denver - asked the one annoying teen (who was killing his act) - what sign he was.

After a long groan from the audience, the lad finally coughed up,

"I don't know".

"Tell me the month you were born," the comic urged.

I guess that was the surprise hook he needed to snare the pimply teen, 'cause the lad fell for the bait and offering up the month.

"Oh, you're an a**hole," the comic quipped, without batting an eye.

Ba-dump!

Gotcha.

Typical of comics desperate for a laugh, he resorted to a tactic spelled out by well-known comedian, Red Skeleton who once astutely noted,

"Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people."

But, the spot went downhill from there, fast.

In a desperate effort to get a laugh - the comic, who's name I can't recall (it was that memorable) - made a derogatory comment about the mold in the old theatre stirring up his sinuses.

Nope, still no cigar from beyond the footlights.

But, two strikes.

First lesson: don't annoy your audience. Second, don't insult your host.

At this juncture, it was a real struggle for the man dressed to the nines in "full Denver" (white belt & white shoes ensemble) to win over the respect of anyone in the room.

He now thumbed through a small booklet as he growled,

"Well, enough of the foreplay."

Couldn't he remember his jokes? Or was that a manual that cited the rules and regulations to abide by when an audience gives you up for a loser and goes astray?

Then, he went off into the deep end, never to return.

"Well, I'll tell a faggot joke. To gay people, the word faggot is like the "N" word is to a Black person. Except, I'd rather deal with an angry gay person than an African American - they're less scary."

No response, not even a - "nice a**" - from the gay men in attendance.

Nada!

So, now he was desperate and went with a pre-historic joke form.

"Knock. Knock."

"Who's there," the audience screamed.

"911."

"911, who?"

"I thought you said you'd never forget?"

Dead silence.

Well, on a positive note, it was good to know that Americans still find it difficult to make jokes about 911.

In the final analysis, the experiment at the Regency failed; in large part due to the fact both comedians lacked the experience, comedic timing, and basic talent to pull the shtick off.

If you query Seinfeld or Leno about their macaroni & cheese days - they'll probably tell you horror stories about one-night gigs around the country - where they handily dealt with hecklers and drunks in dives they did seat-of-your-pants "stand up" in to pay the bills.

Bottom line, the experience turned them into seasoned professionals, capable of turning out a positive result with any dilemma that came their way.


Hence, the reason they sauntered on to fame and fortune in the topsy-turvy competitive world of night-time TV.

In fact, Johnny Carson was a master at taking a bad joke that bombed, and turning it around, into a clever little firecracker that often exploded into a huge laugh.

That not only took a lot of finesse, but skill, as well.

Unfortunately, the two comics at the Regency were out of their league, even in a venue as low-brow as it was.

But, keep at it, kids! You did better than moi.

Years ago, I signed up to do a stint at the Comedy Store. Before they called my name, I dashed out the back door - terrified!

One day, you might strike gold with your oddball antics.

I'll always remember the first time I saw Roseanne do stand up.

"Heh, this lady is good," I recall thinking to myself.

I knew she would hit the big time. And, she did.

Unfortunately, it's usually an uneven temperament, insecurity, and a nasty ego, that does a good comic in.

But, there are always a dozen standing in line to queue up to take their place.

They would be wise to take the advice of Jack Benny who once said,

"It's not so much knowing when to speak, but when to pause."

David Beckham...sexy underwear ad, what does it mean? Emporio Armani!

When he appeared on Jay Leno's show, David Beckham chuckled that after his new underwear ad appeared full throttle in the media, his Mother knocked him up (English term for calling someone on the telephone, dudes!) and exclaimed somewhat incredulously,

"Whatever were you thinking?"

I'd like to know, too. The ad is a curiosity, to say the least.

I mean, why the heck is he in a prone position in bed with his pants pulled down, with sheets turned wide aside, staring at the crotch of his skivvies?

Did he pass out the night before, drunk as a skunk? Now, come dawn, is he slippin' them off to relax in his comfy bed?

But, that scenario doesn't make sense. After all, he's staring at his crotch, isn't he?

Well, maybe he's into himself, a tad. Perchance, the sight of the bulge in his undies will get the lad aroused, so he can facilitate the nasty deed? You know, whack it a little, 'til Posh breezes in from a shopping spree?

In another still from the series, Becks is turned to camera.

Ah now, the package looks more inviting - chock full - if you know what I mean.

I wonder if he had a fluffer on the photo shoot.

Curiously, in a World Entertainment news article recently, film producer Judd Apatow made a startling revelation about male genitalia,

"America fears the penis, and that's something I'm going to help them get over."

Apatow wants to feature more male frontal nudity in movies, for instance, to overcome the stigma.

Maybe, David Beckham will rise to the occasion, too.

I mean, how long are you gonna tease us with come hither looks, Becks, before 'ya whip it out?

Do tell!

NBC...x-rated captions! What kind of shot?

Ever read those close captions that appear at the bottom of your new-fangled plasma TV?

Well, for some inexplicable reason, my focus turned away from the images the other night (some silly bozo must have sauntered onto the screen and distracted me for a second or two) and I noticed something was amiss...

Now and then, the translation was inclined to get twisted and mangled; subsequently, the end results were oftentimes hilarious - if not downright - disastrous.

For instance, when Dave Letterman announced that John Edwards would be appearing on the show the following evening, the Democrat's "John Hancock" was translated as "Swron Edwards". Maybe, the minions at NBC, were referring to his feminine side?

Guess not, because the glitches persisted.

On Jay Leno - the word "Okay" - was transformed into "Oh, Goldy". Jay's deep passionate feelings about a guest, slipped out, perhaps?

The Patriots were hailed as the "Theatriots" (in reference to the Superbowl's wild and wholly beer busts?), while the ever-present term on voters minds these days - the word "politics" - was transformed into a shorter form (for simplicity sake, I guess) to "polics". Maybe the producers were shooting for colonics?

But the one to beat the band (the "boys in the band", no doubt) was the one that made the hysterical reference to a "rim shot".

If you don't know what "rimming" is - just ask any gay man - and he'll enlighten you in graphic detail, no doubt.

I wonder, is some gremlin playing tricks on the late-night talk show hosts, or is the slip-up attributed to faulty translator oversight?

On the plus side, if you get bored with the show, you can always pretend you're Scientologist - Tom Cruise - and craft some clever phrases to go along with the mis-caps.

Now that's, risky business!

Mitt Romney...Jay Leno gives lip service!

After Romney's altercation with a reporter in recent days, a newspaper reported on the brawl of words, and captioned the article, "Romney loses his cool".

On the heels of the momentous event, Jay Leno proceeded to invite the presidential candidate on the late-night forum, to lick his wounds and tell his side of things.

Jay is always on top of these International incidents!

In a nutshell, a heckler in the press corp took umbrage over Mitt Romney's assertions that there wasn't any lobbyist "running his campaign". After all, the writer was under the distinct impression that a lobbyist was, in fact, working in the Republican camp.

It was all a question of semantics, really.

"He advises me, he doesn't run my campaign," Romney retorted, as politely as possible under the circumstances; at which point, the two bantered back and forth like two spoiled brats sparring in the school yard at recess.

Someone was splitting hairs!

Here is the smell test: the adviser didn't inhale, did he?

Exasperated by the reluctance of the rude reporter to back-down, the presidential candidate reiterated the facts. When the reporter refused to let up, Romney finally hit his boiling point and lamented, "Listen to my lips".

Mitt, the correct presidential phrase is, "read my lips"...

Charles De Gaulle once said,

"Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word."

Ron Paul...snubbed by Fox TV, why? Dangerous views!

Well, jovial Ron Paul - with all the bedside manner of a country doctor - has been poppin' up on the boob tube, here and there, over the past couple of days expounding his - um - views.

On the Tonight Show the other night, Jay noted that the reason he invited Paul on as a guest, was due to an incident which occurred in recent days.

"Seems to me, you should be kicking some a**," Leno joked.

Of course, as Joe Public is undoubtedly aware, Fox TV snubbed Mr. Paul when they refused to allow him to participate in the Republican debates this past weekend.

An irate caller, on a popular talk show angrily lamented, "...it's the fault of the mainstream media. They always ignore Mr. Paul."

I'll admit, few outlets reported the news of the rejection at Fox, in spite of the fact it was newsworthy.

So, protesters gathered outside Fox, to stand by their man.

"Fox said it was because the table wasn't big enough," one angry supported snarled, then he gave a look into the camera, as if to say, "...and, I was born yesterday."

Surely, if Fox was unable to afford adequate furnishings for the debate, Mr. Paul and his generous supporters would have coughed up some dough for a custom-made conference table, capable of accommodating all the candidates interested in participating.

When Leno asked - "Why the rejection?" - at first, Mr. Paul shrugged.

Heh, the man's a gentleman; it's doubtful he'd sling mud, right?

With a little coaxing and cajoling from Leno, he relented - alleging in the final analysis - that it was because his views opposed "theirs".

"They're supporting another party," he grinned, with a wink to the audience.

Well, at this juncture, I guess it's time for me to step up to the plate!

This past summer, I penned a blog, which was featured on a Fox TV Web site for the filmmakers' TV reality show, "On the Lot".

Daily, I took potshots at all the candidates; after all, each was fair game to me.

In spite of my vitriolic barbs, aimed at their candidates, no "giant hand" ever stretched down from on high at the corporate offices to silence me, nor was there any attempt by management at the TV Station, to throw a monkey-wrench into my blog postings, or censor my material.

Who knows, maybe Rupert Murdoch just likes me?

Some argue that Fox rejected Paul because his views are too controversial, too dangerous. Is that it, then?

Well, he does allege the "Shaw of Iran" was put into power by the CIA.

And, the underdog candidate argues that the reason terrorists are engaging in their violent, despicable acts, is easy to fathom. Huh?

In sum, Paul takes the simplistic position that, "Terrorists don't like the U.S. occupying their country." That's why they engage in terrorist acts, he alleges.

"Would the citizens of the United States like it if their country was occupied?"

Good point.

But, his reasoning may be off the mark.

After all, I recall that Osama bin Laden has criticized the North American ethic, and also expressed his distaste for "consumer" consciousness and its excesses.

And, there is the issue of Allah.

I am inclined to concur from his stance, the very thought of our existence, has rankled bin Laden and his gang of extremists no end.

I am willing to bet that bin Laden perceives Americans as mere pests, a scourge upon the earth, to be exterminated!

In view of this, I am inclined to take the position that the extremists are a real threat, to be reckoned with.

Suicide bombers - for one - underscore the severity of the situation; the practice clearly establishes that the "enemy" has a completely different mindset which is dangerous.

Who do you know in Norh America that would strap a bomb on their body, and die for a cause - in the name of one God, country, Jesus, John Smith, Buddha, L. Ron Hubbard, or Mickey Mouse?

When asked what was wrong with U.S., Paul reacted without hesitation, "We're broke, and we're printing too much paper money".

Jay joked on the heels of this comment, "What's wrong with that?"

Well, it was evident at this point, that Mr. Leno is oblivious to the basics of economics, the function of the U.S Treasury, how inflation occurs, and why the dollar becomes devalued.

Curiously, when Leno asked the Republican candidate who he'd choose as a running mate, in the event he broke on through, he chortled, "Anyone who agrees with me!

At this point, he chastised his opponents, and their rant for "change".

"There would not be any need for war or change, if they read the Constitution and followed it," he opined, to loud cheers from the audience.

Good luck, on the campaign trail, Mr. Paul.

I wish it was all that easy.