24th Annual Asian Pacific Film Festival...Visionary filmmakers, to inspire and uplift!

The 24th Annual Asian Pacific Film Festival kicks off tomorrow with a VIP Reception and Gala Soiree to follow.

The Festival runs - May 1st through May 8th - at a handful of accessible venues - the DGA, Laemmle's Sunset 5 Theatres, ImaginAsian Center, The National Center for the Preservation of Democracy, and the Aratani/Japan America Theatre. (Los Angeles)

The annual event - formerly known as the VC Film Fest - has been resurrected as the Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film Festival.

Known globally as Southern California's largest and most prestigious film festival of its kind - the fest launches the annual celebration of "Asian Pacific Heritage Month" through an exciting slate of 160 films and videos from both Asian Pacific American and Asian international directors.

A bumper crop of features by Asian American female directors will be prominently unveiled throughout the festival which kicks off - PING PONG PLAYA - directed by Oscar® winning Jessica Yu.

"THE HOME SONG STORIES" - a feature-length drama by Australian Director Tony Ayres starring Joan Chen - will screen at the closing night festivities.

Notes on the Highlighted films:

PING PONG PLAYA (May 1st)
The premiere of PING PONG PLAYA marks filmmaker Jessica Yu's comedy feature debut starring Jimmy Tsai, Roger Fan, Elizabeth Sung, Smith Cho, and Andrew Vo.

KISSING COUSINS (May 4th)
Filmmaker Amyn Kaderali brings his debut film to this year's festival. It's an intriguing tale about an enterprising "relationship termination specialist" who provides "dumping services" for his lovelorn clients.

The much-anticipated feature stars Samrat Chakrabarti, Rebecca Hazlewood, Gerry Bednob, Zack Ward, Jaleel White and David Alan Grier.

THE HOME SONG STORIES (May 8th)
Australian-based director Tony Ayres presents a captivating family story with a distinct twist. Joan Chen shines in one of her most powerful performances as a glamorous Shanghai nightclub singer (and mother of two) who migrates to Australia in search of a better life for her family.

In addition to the centerpiece films noted above, the Festival staff have scheduled a dazzling array of shorts, documentaries, and features throughout the Festival Calendar.

In addition, there will be a handful of exciting seminars and panel discussions.

For example, at the "MEDIA MESSENGERS" forum, Eric Byler and Annabelle Park (along with a handful of other guests) will engage in a dialogue about how filmmakers and actors can activate the Asian-American voter bloc - by embracing innovative media tools and the Internet - with the ultimate aim of leveling the playing field.

A writing seminar - SUCCEEDING AT SCREENWRITING - is sure to be a big crowd-pleaser, as well.

In this informative session, two Chinese Professors who specialize in screenwriting, return for a second year to present a writer's boot camp where attendees will be guided through a 90-minute version of a 10-week workshop normally conducted in the scholarly environs at UCLA.

Included in the package: how to pitch, rustle up script ideas, fathom structure and outline, submit treatments to production companies, and so much more!

A third session - Art of Visual Storytelling - pertains to the actual "art of cinematography" and appeals to filmmakers in particular. Since cinematography has developed into a highly-developed aesthetic form, the focus here is on how to achieve that end - through the use of lenses, angles, lighting, color - you name it.

A guest Director of photography will share secrets on how he turns his visions into dynamic realities on the silver screen.

Personally, I am inclined to participate in what is sure to be a wild adventure:

"THE XIN LU BUS TOUR OF L.A."

The Bus Tour is a large-scale media project which explores the intersections between autobiography, travel, tourism, exile and displacement.

Ming-Yuen S. Ma - the brainchild of the Festival fave - will team up with the organizers to present his four-part series the way that it was intended to be shown: as a mobile bus tour of Los Angeles in which the similarities and differences between the media and real life are referenced, compared, and experienced.

On the trip, there will be screenings of four films:

MYTH(S) Of Creation (USA 1997); MOTHER/LAND (USA 2000); MOVEMENTS EAST-WEST (USA 2003), and (OSL)(USA 2008)

Tickets include a box lunch!

This year the National Spotlight is on the Philippines, therefore, six films from Filipino International artists (including 2 Filipino American directors) will be screened.

According to the organizers, these new filmmakers are fast becoming the "new wave of modern cinema" and the festival has cultivated some of the best from these new visionaries.

And finally, as a special treat, the curious may want to join the writers/directors of:


HAROLD & KUMAR:
ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY

Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Scholossberg - along with actor John Cho - discuss the films and its franchise which has now achieved "classic" status amongst a new generation.

All in all, the 24th Annual Asian Pacific Film Festival appears to have widespread appeal - so I expect - there will be a large turnout to support the talented filmmakers and the Asian Pacific Community, as well.

No doubt the experience will be a rewarding, uplifting one.

As Ingrid Bergman once said,

"No form of art goes beyond ordinary consciousness as film does, straight to our emotions, deep into the twilight of the soul."

Reverend Jeremiah Wright...A.I.D.S. conspiracy lunacy. White coats, comin' to take him away. Ha Ha, Hee Hee!

Obama says you've got it all wrong, Reverend...



When I read in the morning paper that Reverend Jeremiah Wright once lamented that the A.I.D.S. virus was part of a conspiracy to wipe out the black population, I laughed.

Well, his theories were a bit refreshing in some respects.

After all, years ago Church leaders preached about a lot of fire and brimstone and alleged that the deadly virus was God's way of punishing "gays" for engaging in immoral acts.

Of course, in support of their arguments a whole posse of 'em were inclined to quote verses from Revelations. You know, all the scriptures that speak of famine and plagues and things that go bump in the night when the day of reckoning comes.

In recent years, however, scientists have been able to determine - because of A.I.D.S. activists like Elizabeth Taylor (who has raised millions in funds for research) - that the virus actually originated in the lowly monkey.

Yes, the nasty infection jumped species.

Looks like a couple of men in white coats (no, not the Ku Klux Klan) may be jumping Reverend Jeremiah Wright in the near future to cart him off to the funny farm if he continues foaming at the mouth about such nonsense!


Suggestions that the virus evolved into the mainstream because of willful deliberate action by a plotting few or the result of a vaccine that went wrong - are a preposterous notion - at least to those with a modicum of intelligence and common sense.

The man is a lunatic!

Prophetic leader?

How about pathetic loser!

Amen.

Don Johnson...dines alfresco, a little worse for wear.

I know I shouldn't have - the old waistline will be feelin' it tomorrow - but I took a break from a bit of editing and headed over to Rite-Aid for a regular single scoop of Cookies 'n Cream.

Ah, delicious.

On the way back home, instead of turning off on a side street to avoid the madding crowd, I strolled straight up Canon Drive amid the lunch-hour throngs.

Well now, who did I spy dining alfresco at the corner at one of the trendiest in-spots to be gandered at?

Don Johnson.

Gosh, anyone could have just bent over and given him a peck on the cheek!

But, I have to admit, the TIN CUP star was a little worse for wear; tired, and haggard-looking.

Didn't catch a soul scrambling for his John Henry.

Frankly, if I were so out-of-shape - physically down-in-the-dumps - I'd at least don a pair of sunglasses to hide a little of the baggage under those precious peepers.

No pun intended.

Or, is he casting about for a character role?

The image is a far cry from the glitz and glamour of Miami Vice days.

Poor slip-sliding shooting star.

Guess the one-time heart throb was inclined to bask in the glow of a bit of the fleeting fame he has left. But, few appeared impressed by the sight of his cute chops at the popular upscale eatery.

In contrast, I got a ton of attention. Why?

By sheer accident, I ended up straggling down the street a hair's breath behind a young beauty with kno**ers out to there!

So, natch, all the wolves on the prowl - sittin' pretty all in a row 'round their elegant tables dressed to the nines in their pricey Ermenegildo Zegna designer suits - were inclined to stare "our" way.

Funny, that.

It wasn't until I brought it to the young gal's attention (she was on the way to the dentist) that she was aware of the stir she was causing.

Yup, that's the secret.

Don't possess a care in the world, or scheme for a show of things, and all eyes will focus on 'ya.

Maybe it has somethin' to do with the energy one exudes when they're innocent and carefree and - without motive - of course!

Maybe, the "me" generation is fading fast into oblivion, do 'ya think?



In heady days, Don was known for his "Johnson"...

Kenneth Bi..."The Drummer" a compelling spiritual journey. Starring Jaycee Chan!

"The Drummer" (which screened at the Asian Pacific Film Festival) is about a band of ZEN musicians and a troubled young man who stumbles upon their humble community in the mountains of Taiwan.

"For me," noted director Kenneth Bi,

"It began with a stage performance."

After attending a theatrical production by the world-renowned drummers, the genesis of an idea for the feature film crystallized.

Jaycee Chan - son of famed actor Jackie Chan - adeptly plays a lost young man born into a crime family in the mean streets of Hong Kong.

When a gang war breaks out, and a bounty is placed on his head, SID flees to Taiwan to escape their wrath with the help of his father's tainted cash.

One day, the bored young man hears the sounds of drums echoing throughout the valleys of the majestic mountains, which sparks a journey up a path to their humble community.

Over the crest of a hill, he is startled to spy a serene group of men and women pounding on a set of drums in a rigorous, almost sacred manner.

He later learns they are Zen Drummers practising for an upcoming world tour.

Because Chan's character played the drums when he was a youth - mainly to vent his anger and distract himself from the painful memories of a broken home life - he strides up, cocky and full of swagger, and demands to demonstrate his skills on the skins.

When the Buddhists are hesitant to respond, he retorts like any typical spoiled American brat.

"I'll pay you."

It is quickly impressed on the lad that drum-playing is whole different musical experience in this spiritual community.

In fact, the rhythmic playing is not the "be all" and "end all" at all; but rather, part of a Zen philosophy in a holistic approach to life.

When SID begs a teacher for the chance to step forward and display his skills on the drums, a wise Master solemnly responds.

"He teaches you how to play the drums and I teach you 'how not' to."

Moments later, after beating the heck out of the skins (in what amounts to an audition) it is evident to the Masters that while SID is "talented", he is not ready spiritually to join in.

So, like a typical disciple, he is assigned various tasks designed to steer him on the right path.

In essence, he must come to understand the "hearbeat" of the mountain, the meaning of day-to-day existence - and likewise - be able to fathom the rhythms of life itself.

When the angry young man is asked to fetch water for the drummers, he is forced to walk several miles for gas when it is discovered the tank for the water-pump is empty. After a long arduous stroll to purchase the fuel, he toils with his unwelcome burden all the way back to camp.

Frustrated by these seemingly worthless annoyances, he ends up lashing out.

"I'm just a slave to you."

After all, he doesn't understand the methodology of the teacher, or the reasoning behind the daily chores.

The incident reminded me of an old proverb:t

Before enlightenment -
Chopping wood, drawing water;
After enlightenment -
Chopping wood, drawing water.

The Master then asks SID to go down to the stream and pluck up forty rocks and return to the camp with them in tow. Although bewildered by the request, he proceeds to carry out the task. When he returns with the odd assortment of pebbles, SID is then instructed to place the rubble into a satchel.

Once accomplished, he is instructed to carry the bag of stones over his shoulder wherever he journeys around the mountain each day.

For those who are familiar with practice of ZEN, the instructions of the teacher are not entirely bizarre in nature.

A Master glimpses into the soul of the disciple and assigns a koan (a puzzle) for the seeker to solve - one that is uniquely tailored to ensure a disciple's spiritual growth - with the ultimate aim of setting them squarely on their "path".

In essence, the seemingly innocuous teachings aid the student in fathoming their place in the grand scheme of things, so that they may come to know the true essence of existence on the earth plane.

Only in this way, can the mystery of the "moment" be realized.

Mr. Bi noted that when he first arrived in Taiwan, he sauntered up the mountain and stumbled across the Zen Drummers, much like the character does in the film.

"There I was in the wilderness of the mountain. At the top, when I turned and looked back, a modern city sat in the distance."

In a moment of revelation - it struck him that the "people" were living in the mountains - and that the "animals" were stalking the city below.

With powerful insight and expert storytelling techniques under his belt, Kenneth Bi manages to capture the remarkable transformation that occurs for SID on the journey from the dark underbelly of life into the Divine light of the Godhead.

Hillary Clinton...gay rumors persist in tabloids! Old news to G & L community.

When I sauntered into Von's this morning for a cup of java and a doughnut, I couldn't help but notice the screaming headlines at the check-out counter on the cover of a tabloid magazine:

Hillary Clinton Gay Affair!

Well, that bit of gossip has been circulating around the gay community for years.

G & L activists haven't pursued the issue - or put the spotlight on the persistent whispers that swirl around Jodie Foster either - because most have taken the stance that both - if the rumors are true - should be afforded the opportunity to "come out" when they're ready to skirt the idea.

Actually, the titillating thought of the winsome duo in the sack - Whoa Nellie, Hillary & Jody! - is inclined to rev up a few scintillating passions in some.

Although both high-profile celebrities are cool and aloof in the public arena, I just betcha, they're both wild tigresses in-between the sheets, dudes!

Meow.

Theorists allege that the reason Hillary never left Bill over his womanizing - and in particular, the Lewinski affair - was due to the fact the Clinton union is a marriage of convenience. Makes sense, doesn't it?

As long as Bill acts discreetly, and doesn't embarrass her too badly in public, she'll forgo on the heave ho!

And, it suits slick Willy's willy; after all, the prospect of hopping into bed with two lusty women is a great little scenario for the over-sexed former president whose favorite motto is: Don't Ask. Don't tell.

Actually, for many men, fantasizing about a threesome with two Lesbos is quite a turn on!

Yeah, men are such animals, aren't they?

As to Hillary - well, I guess the pant suits make sense now - don’t ‘ya think?

For some, butch is a turn on!

Hillary & Bill same person.
Ever see 'em together?

Ping Pong Playa...delightful comedy. Race stereotypes may stir up controversy!

PING PONG PLAYA, which kicked off the 24th Annual Asian Pacific Film Festival on Thursday, is a delightful off-beat comedy offered up by director Jessica Yu.

Essentially, the low-budget farce is about an Asian male still chasing pipe dreams - in particular, a shot at the big leagues in pro basketball - unable to hold down gainful employment or even conjure up any meaningful direction in his life.

Through a quirky set of circumstances, C-dub (his nickname) - played with great aplomb by actor Jimmy Tsai - is forced to teach ping pong at the family business to a handful of lovable, but hapless kids in the neighborhood.

As the little darlings astutely lament to each other, what choice is there otherwise? Violin, piano, dreaded choir - go figure!

Yes, early on - the film takes a wild jab at the Asian American culture and its values - in a light-hearted, upbeat way.

Director, Jessica Yu (SOUR DEATH BALLS) joked,

"Jimmy and I both saw in C-dub the chance for some healthy self-mockery in our generations navigation of the ethnic American experience. From the oversensitivity of the politicized to perceived racist slights, the impulse to dismiss ethic stereotyping, while simultaneously mocking those who fit the stereotypes, to the resentment of the non-model minority."

That's quite a mouthful!

On occasion, PING PONG borders on the edge of controversy in this regard.

If a big-budget Hollywood production poked fun at the Asian Community - and other diverse groups represented in the film the way Lu has - it is wholly possible there may have been an outcry in the community.

At the Q & A session - when I asked Yu and the cast if the underlying message (in light of all the racial issues discussed in the media in recent days) signaled a need to "lighten up", "have a sense of humor", and "get real" - the response was amusing.

"Actually, we did get accused of white-bashing," Yu chortled. "Because of some of the comments we made about people in Encino."

But, none of the quips in respect to "race" in PING PONG PLAYA are particularly mean-spirited or offensive, to be sure.

But, I have to take note for the record. Last year, at the Los Angeles Film Festival, there was a panel discussion about diversity in Hollywood which focused on how Asians, Blacks, and others were portrayed by the industry.

Some of the stereotypes the panel objected to there - run rampant here.

And, a handful of politically-correct individuals might put forth the proposition that films like "Ping Pong" may perpetuate those myths.

I guess that old adage is true...

It's okay for any ethnic group - or person of a certain religious or sexual persuasion - to make fun of members of their own, but don't anyone else dare!

For the most part, there's a lot of side-splitting shtick and odd-ball humor, with a big satirical thrust on the annual Ping Pong tournament that C-dub must win to ensure the family honor is upheld in the community - and, of course - that sign-ups for lessons on the hot little table keep filtering in.

Enter the competition.

A couple of wacky ping pong enthusiasts (who take the rules of the game "to the max") sashay in and throw a curve ball into the mix.

Peter Paige and Scott Lowell (Queer as Folk) are wildly amusing as a couple of players out to win the tournie, at any cost.

Paige goes all out here, explores new ground as a comic actor, and succeeds admirably in a break-out role.

No doubt, both the gay community - and the straight one - will get a kick out of his characterization of a man who is obviously "gay" to everyone but himself. In the classic tradition of a closeted man, he puffs up his manhood, and all-the-while crows unconvincingly about chicks. Wink! Wink!

To divert attention elsewhere, ya think?

There's a lot of visual humor in PING PONG, too; shots of tight shorts on wiggling butts, kids with odd-ball expressions on their silly mugs which bring a smile to the face, and broad character reactions - right on the money, by the way - that add a lot of hilarity throughout to keep the laughter rolling.

A thumbs up!

Buddha...a conversation with a student!

A student has a conversation with Buddha

"Are you the messiah?" asked a student.
"No", answered Buddha.
"Then, are you a healer?"
"No", Buddha replied.
"Are you a teacher?" the student persisted.
"No, I am not a teacher."
"Then what are you?" asked the student, exasperated.
"I am awake", Buddha replied.

Barack Obama...shifting gears! Self-doubt may lose the race! Let it "be".

I had a dream that Obama @#*!...


Judging by the photo in the newspaper yesterday, Barack Obama appears to be pulling back from the media. For good reason!

In the revealing photograph, Obama looked leery of responding to a gaggle of reporters perched a few dozen feet from the Presidential candidate with their mics and news paraphernalia thrust forward.

A piece of advice, Obama? Just "be".

After all, when "The Candidate" let it be in the past, wasn't that a character trait that was inclined to inspire?

Yes, in the old days, Barack was a confident man...always able to stay on top of things. And - ready, able, and willing - to put his spin on the issues without fear of criticism. On occasion, he was witty; even offered up a refreshing anecdote now and then.

More-often-than-not, he had an uncanny way of putting wily Hillary in her place, too.

Mucho points from the voters for your skills in that department, Sir!

But, as the dems head down the last lap, it appears that Mr. Obama is letting the barbs and political innuendos jolt him, paralyze his thinking - and ultimately - bog him down with doubts about his image, fears that he won't be able to turn the tide back, and reservations about launching counter-attacks to halt Clinton dead in her cougar tracks.

Oh, Hillary's a plotter, alright. In fact, Bill's other half puts Lucy - the red-headed screwball schemer from the hit sitcom - to shame!

I agree, it's time to focus on McCain and start placing bets on the Blue Ribbon Race. Come on Barack, turn your back on that tired old saw horse, Clinton, and sprint to the finish line.

Yessir, Dems are making a big mistake prolonging the slug-fest with Clinton and Obama. If both the hopefuls are not careful, their popularity will fizzle out in a gasp of discontent and disgust. And, it will be reflected at the polls!

So, keep on track, Obama.

The only thing capable of derailing you at this juncture is that evil eye of that conniver, Hillary Clinton!

In the final analysis, maybe front-runner Obama needs a stab-in-the-back - er - a "blessing" from his pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, to make things right as rain again?

Kidding!

Newport Film Festival...Eclectic offerings! Last two days...

On April 24th, the Newport Beach Festival started up and runs through May 1st, 2008.

By all accounts, the films on schedule have all been well-received to date.

But, if your missed the early screenings, you have the opportunity to catch the tail end. Over the next couple of days as the Festival winds down, there are still a handful of important insightful and innovative films to take in.

For instance, the documentary "Beautiful Losers".

During the course of the much-anticipated event this year, the Newport Beach Film Festival showcased more than 350 entries from around the world and in the process managed to offer up an ambitious international selection of features, shorts, documentaries, and animated shorts that compete for both the Jury and Audience awards.

The 9th Annual Festival focuses on World and U.S. premieres, Academy Award entries, Sundance Selections, a Spotlight Series, and Children's Festival projects from both the independents and the majors alike.

Submissions are far-flung too - from Asia, Europe, South & Central America, and Africa - for instance.

The celluloid pieces are both classic and contemporary in nature and amount to a unique mix of genres influenced by a myriad of cultures.

In their "mission statement", the Festival organizers note that it is their intention to bring to Orange County the best of classic and contemporary filmmaking from around the world.

Newport Fest is also committed to delivering up not only a first-class international film program, but also a forum for cultural understanding, backed by enriching educational opportunities.

And, they've met that challenge in an exciting diverse way.

The Festival supports the creation and advancement of innovative and artistic cinematic works of both emerging and seasoned filmmakers and proudly embraces their passion, independent spirit, and vision.

With the integration of the local community and educational institutions into all aspects of the Festival, the celebrated annual event has stimulated an interest in the study and appreciation of film and - likewise - encouraged people of all ages and backgrounds to participate, according to their press release.

Over the past decade, the Festival has unveiled many acclaimed feature films such as - "Crash", "Layer Cake", "Dust to Glory", "Sexy Beast", "Spellbound", "Dogtown and Z Boys", "Joint Security Area", and "Castle in the Sky".

In addition, the organizers have taken a look back in time with classics such as - "The French Connection", "Sunset Boulevard", the "50th anniversary of Jim Henson Company", and "The Outsiders".

Because of this unique approach to the film-going experience, the Newport Beach Film Festival has garnered acclaim from audiences and distributors alike.

Record numbers - about 40,000 strong - are expected to take the sojourn to Newport this year.

In fact, the numbers are growing each year.

In addition to the films, the founders have scheduled question and answer periods, so that filmgoers and industry-insiders have the rare opportunity to meet up-close and personal with filmmakers, directors, screenwriters and cinematographers eager to share their work with a captive public.

So, if you haven't savored the experience yet, head down to the tony enclave for the last two days of the Festival.

You'll be glad you didn't pass on the opportunity.

As Stanley Kubrick once opined:

"A film is never really good unless the camera is an eye in the head of a poet."

http://www.julianayrs.com

Fan gets physical...PDA ban lifted for a sec!

Old-fashioned Courtship preferred...


Last night I slipped into The Abbey for about thirty minutes to check out the scene.

After all, the trendy watering hole on Robertson in West Hollywood is quite the social whirl around 6 p.m. on Sunday evenings.

Good-looking, fashionably-attired patrons are inclined to sip on exotic cocktails, engage in a little cruising, and occasionally shake their booty a bit when an upbeat popular hit strikes up over the powerful loud speakers strategically placed around the artfully-decorated bar.

After chatting up a handful of acquaintances, I sauntered out into the street, homeward bound.

To stay in shape, I usually stroll around the pristine neighborhood on foot - rather than hop in my wheels. After all, burning a few calories here and there, keeps my lean bod in shape!

As I headed up Santa Monica Boulevard, I suddenly spied two handsome young men making a beeline for me.

Or, was it my imagination?

I half-expected that when they neared my position on the sidewalk - that they would skirt to one side - and let me pass. Surprise! Instead, the duo strutted right towards me, and summarily, blocked my path!

Was I going to finally have the opportunity to try out my Karate on real live subjects, at long last?

Finally, when one of the dudes got about "this-close" in my face, his eyes went wide as he stared into my eyes and gushed -

"I want a hug!"

Well, in my youth, public displays of affection (PDA's) were greatly scorned upon. But, what the heck, I was in a good mood.

A fan is a fan, right?

Needless to say, at the back of my mind, I thought the request odd in the bright light of day!

As we hugged for a sec, his friend chimed in, "He wants 'ya".

Sorry, dude! A lone hug would have to suffice.

After all, I'm one of those old-fashioned types.

I prefer to be wined and dined a bit before I'm inclined to jump in the hay!

America's Got Talent...MySpace invite to compete on the talent show! Win a million bucks.

So, ‘ya think you've got talent, kid?

Can you lick your nose with your tongue, or perform untold pretzel-twisting feats with your flamboyant flexible bod?

Just maybe, you can belt out a tune and touch the masses, not unlike the mesmerizing Paul Pots managed to in recent days?

If so, then sign up with MySpace to appear on the final taping of the musical entertainment extravaganza - "America's Got Talent" - and an opportunity to win a million bucks!

Here's what you have to do to be considered for an appearance on the hit talent show.

SEND A TAPE NOW
Don't delay or you'll miss the last call for videotape submissions.

FOLLOW THREE EASY STEPS
*Submit a 2-3 minute videotape of your act.
*The performance must be a "cover version" of a published tune.
*Make sure your entry is not an original song.

CONTEST RULES
*The show accepts VHS & DV tapes & DVDs only.
*No hi-8's or formats that need VHS adaptors allowed.
*Label the entry with name, address, and phone number.

SUBMISSION INFO
*Download and complete three forms:
*Eligibility Requirements * Casting Info Sheet *Release Form.
*Answer all questions.

WARNING
America's Got Talent will not view a tape unless the contestant has completed, signed, and enclosed the "Casting Info Sheet" and "Personal Release" form.

SUBMISSIONS
The Producers
America's Got Talent (Season 3)
3727 W. Magnolia Blvd.
#808
Burbank, CA 91505

Break a leg!


Judges kibbitz on sidelines...

Sunglasses...cool, casual, colorful! Out of the shade, into spotlight!

Ah, the lazy days of summer are upon us!

When I zipped into my favorite Starbucks outlet in West Hollywood, I couldn't help but notice the festive eye-catching shades on the snoz of one of the kids who plies the eclectic cafe treats there.

The quirky fun specs were somewhat reminiscent of a pair of poindexters, but the rims screamed out in a pop-inspired fire-engine red!

Very cool!

You know, since I became a transplant to sunny California, it has always surprised me how many people in the BIG ORANGE trounce around town - wearing sandals in open jeeps with T's off or with their top-of-the-line Benz convertible rag-tops down - without donning a pair of sunglasses for protection under the sizzlin' mid-day solar rays.

Vanity be thy name?

Yes, I expect a handful of Hollywood hopefuls are anxious to show off their pretty mugs in tantalizing Tinsel town where an all-elusive break into the biz is just a glance away.

But, for longevity's sake (unless you want to play character actors for the rest of your life) it's always wise to cover up when splashing into the zesty beach days of summer each year.

After all, treks in the scorching sun without shades get 'ya squinting - and over time - etch out some nasty crow's feet up-close and personal to your luminous baby blues.

Notwithstanding, scrutinizing objects in the bright sun without protection may eventually cause irreversible damage to the retina of the eye.

So, it's important to not only sport shades, but ensure the pair you snap up have maximum Ultra Violet (UV) protection!

But, forget rims in "granny styles". After all, wrap-a-round coverage is best.

Of course, there are many brands to choose from!

Ray-Bans, as always, are Top Gun!

And, in 90210 (Beverly Hills, dahlink!) designer shades with ubiquitous logos upfront and screeching "money" are always in vogue.

But, if you're on a budget or continually misplacing your fave pair (like moi!), occasionally - and for a song with a stroke of luck - you'll be able to snatch up a real snazzy pair at the 99 cent store.

But, scan for the UV protection sticker, please!

Another benefit of protection?

In a matter of weeks you'll also notice the texture and tone of the skin around the eyes noticeably improved.

It saves face! Just ask my pals, below.

Barack Obama...say what? Senior analyst disassociates with sports tied to African Americans!

Barack on the "down low"...
(pictured left)



Just when we thought issues pertaining to the race card were dealt a final deadly blow - and tucked away into the good night - another wild zinger zips out of the Barack Obama camp!

At media outlets around the Nation, the morning papers were running photographs of Obama sprinting about the basketball court, underscoring his vim and vigor at the tender age of 46 big ones!

Heh, judging by comments from the ring-siders, Obama put the competing players half his age to shame!

Some have scratched their heads and wondered why Oprah's good buddy hasn't capitalized on the athletic image, especially in view of the fact some whine that Senator John McCain is too old to run for President.

According to the Senator from Illinois, age is not an issue.

A bit of diplomacy on his part, perhaps?

And, when asked why there weren't any press junkets booked around his favorite past-time, the presidential candidate stressed that when he's on the court - it's his downtime - and one of those rare occasions when he is able to relax out of the political spotlight.

In view of a comment made by his Senior Analyst - on the heels of the Obama revelation - one has to wonder...surely that's not entirely true?

After all, in one of those jaw-dropping moments, the aide allegedly let is slip that the reason there were few photo ops - or in-your-face reports from the stands - was due to the fact there was some reluctance on the part of the Obama team to show the candidate playing a sport heavily associated with African Americans.

Oops! Someone put their foot in it...

Hoop nightmares, do ya think?

Wesley Snipes...IRS tax evasion lands Actor in slammer!

Wesley Snipes unable to win battle with Uncle Sam...


Well, fans of actor Wesley Snipes were a little stunned this week when charges of income tax evasion brought by the IRS - not only "stuck" - but appear to be bundling the action star off to the big house for three years!

Uncle Sam doesn't fool around when it comes to hanky-panky with tax dollar revenues!

No surprise, though.


Decades ago, everyone thought Al Capone was pretty much "untouchable" - a flim flam man - a teflon Don. In the final crunch, it was the undeclared ill-gotten gains - not the racketeering or the rum-running or illicit prostitution or slave trade - that done him in.


Even Leona Helmsley's mega millions couldn't save her from the slammer - and subsequently - daily stints in the head scrubbing out latrines and carting out the trash for allegedly writing off expenses which were disallowed.








Most are shocked by the severity of the Snipes sentence.

Mr. Swipes had no previous record (and no trouble with the Law previously) so - by most accounts - the star of a couple of blockbuster Hollywood films should have been given probation. After all, the felony charges were dropped, and lowly misdemeanours don't generally warrant such a severe slap on the wrist.

Was the bench-warmer who laid down the sentence a hangin' Judge?

Or, was Mr. Swipes another victim of a judicial system bent on sending a message to the American people: Don't cheat on your taxes?

On the other side of the coin, the prosecution and the government argued that Mr. Swipes was not just an "innocent" who inadvertently failed to report his earnings correctly or pay appropriate tax based on his earnings.

The lawyers who prosecuted the case stridently put forth the proposition that Swipes willingly got involved with a tax-deferral scheme which he knew was not legal or acceptable in the eyes of the IRS or the U.S. Tax Court.

In fact - Attorney General Nathan J. Hochman of the Justice Department - was quite emphatic in his statements to the press that Swipes was:

"A disciple of a tax defiance movement who understood his actions were illegal."

To add credibility to the Justice Department's argument, Hochman noted that the incidents of tax evasion did not occur in just one calendar year, but over several. And, that the failure to report earnings was not an "accident' - in the final analysis - in view of the documented evidence.

Swipes was not a victim of "jackals" who took advantage of his lack of knowledge about the intricacies of tax laws, he stressed to the swarming media who hovered in a fever frenzy outside the court environs this past week.

Although Swipes stated in a prepared release prior to sentencing that he was - idealistic, naive, passionate, truth-seeking, and a spiritually motivated artist unschooled in the science of law and finance - the comments fell on deaf ears.

In response to the criticism that the sentence was too harsh, Judge Hodges (who presided over the case) disagreed and noted for the record:

"He exhibited a history of contempt over a period of time for U.S. Tax laws."

"In my mind these are serious crimes," he concluded, as he passed the sentence.

After hearing the verdict, Swipes had no reaction.

Maybe, he saw it coming?

The crux of the case was a charge by the IRS that Snipes tried to defraud the IRS by by virtue of his deceitful efforts to collect 11.4 million in fraudulent income tax refunds. In addition, it was alleged (and proven) that he failed to file returns from 1999 through 2004, despite the fact he generated millions of dollars through career pursuits and investments during that time frame.

When Uncle Sam wants you - he gets 'ya - eh?

Barack Obama...seeks cash from Abercrombie & Fitch flesh?

There was a lot of brouhaha in the press over the past twenty-four hours over a pride of Abercrombie & Fitch models that turned up in back of Barack Obama when he chatted last night in Evansville, Indiana.

At the rally, a campaign volunteer allegedly approached the fellas to queue up behind Obama during the speech.

Pretty up the background? I wonder.

Because their T-shirts were scrawled with the A & F logo on their face, many wondered if Obama was rustling up a bid for some campaign cash from the high-profile retailer, or just lookin' to spruce up the Presidential hopefuls GQ-inspired man-about-town image.

Was it shrewd product placement or just a fluke?

Or, is the Senator going full steam ahead for the gay vote?

Fortunately, the young dudes didn't climb on stage, toss their T's, and show a little naked butt.

That stunt nearly landed Abercrombie & Fitch up on obscenity charges in another part of the Country in recent days.

Do you suppose Obama wears Calvin Klein underwear, too?

LA TIMES Festival of Books...cerebral event for bookish!

If you didn't make it down to the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival this weekend - then you have the option to take in a more cerebral event - the annual Festival of Books hosted by the LA TIMES at UCLA in Westwood.

Although the Festival is free, unless you park a few blocks away and are inclined to trek a bit on foot, parking will cost a staggering eight bucks. At the cost of gas today, maybe it would be wise to take the Metro or hitch a ride with a pal.

The Book fair has grown considerably over the years.

Amid the six outdoor stages of events to choose from, there will be music, cultural events, and cooking demonstrations.

A highlight will be a number of insightful panel discussions with celebrity hosts, readings by award-winning giants in the literary field, and book signings.

Some of the highlights include the following panel discussions:

Laughing in the Face of Death", with moderator Donna Rifkind (Panel 1011); The Literary Detective, with Sarah Weinman (Panel 1012); Death in Another Land, with Paula L. Woods (Panel 1013); Literature & Technology: Breaking the Mold, with David Kipen & Shelley Jackson (Panel 1021); Young Adult: Fantastic Fiction, with Jonathan Hunt (Panel 1022); Gay Talese with Tim Rutten(Panel 1032).

With 300 exhibitors on hand, you'd be wise to plan on spending the whole day. So, pack a lunch; or, trundle off to one of the trendy local eateries in Westwood when the old gut starts growling for grub.

For those without babysitters, two children's areas are sure to keep the young ones in tow enthralled with the world of make-believe, too.

Among the 450 or so authors to appear for in-depth discussions about their works, expect to mingle with keynote speakers like - Julie Andrews, Maria Shriver, Gore Vidal, Kenny Mayne, and Ray Bradbury - to name a few.

In fact, if you want to get a jump on the festivities, you may be inclined to take in tonight's event - the "Dinner with Authors" package.

The "28th Annual Los Angeles Times Book Prizes" Award Ceremony is being held at Royce Hall at UCLA in Westwood.

Attending authors include the "Master of Ceremonies" - Gay Talese - in addition to Maxine Hong Kingston, Tim Weiner, and Sherman Alexie.

The cost of admission ($65.00 a head) includes dinner, a prime ticket for the Awards Ceremony, and a parking pass.

To attend the award ceremony only will run 'ya about 18 smackeroos.

Nifty idea, eh?

Tickets for the event are limited - so hurry.

Info: latimesbookprizes.com

MySpace...harem! Bodacious Bevy of Babes pretty up site.

Through some curious phenomenon, a bevy of bodacious babes have been posting requests to be my "friend" over the past couple of weeks on my profile at MySpace.

Gosh, they're all pretty and curvy and beckoning from afar.

How can I resist?

Without much ado, I usually stroke the "approve" button - at which point - in a flourish of silk, tender flesh, and flimsy undergarments, the seductive sirens sashay onto the site and sidle up to my regular cast of tried-and-true friends.

Sadly, on occasion, a sultry-looking lady is denied entry to my secret lair. In that rare instance, it's usually because a smoldering siren has uploaded a provocative still a little too on-the-edge of soft-porno, for a site I still bill as family entertainment fare.

At my blog, savvy surfers can view an animated video, guffaw at a political jibe, or peruse a movie review to fathom if the release is worth plunking down 10 bucks a head (popcorn and soda extra).

Curiously, after a few days, the harem girls slip away into the starry night - if only for an hour or two. Then, without warning, requests from a whole new batch of bodacious babes sizzle into my mailbox for another scintillating round of titillating visual theatrics.

It just occurred to me today - duh, I'm slow on the uptake, I guess - that perchance the seductresses have been pining for a little afternoon delight.

Any takers?

I prefer lovemaking when the moon is full and the passions run high just around midnight!






Temptress hints at naughty fun.
What would Freud think?

Coachella Music & Arts Festival...Prince headlines. Event signals bell-weather trends in music, fashion!

Thousands of music aficionados, heads, thrill-seekers, and a plain old hanger on or two will be descending on the desert this weekend to attend the annual Coachella Music & Arts Festival at the Empire Polo Field in Indio, California.

For the jaded, it was originally going to be a ho-hum event, featuring a line of bands trotting about the circuit ad nauseam in recent days.

But, when PRINCE signed on board to saunter onstage, word-of-mouth skyrocketed the status of the party fest to a must-attend event.

The buzz was boosted somewhat when the - Raconteurs, Vampire Weekend, and MGMT - started packing up their instruments for Coachella, too; a cultural odyssey that tends to signal bell-weather trends in music, fashion, and eclectic art circles.

Unfortunately for fans sorting out scheduling conflicts today - who opted to make last-minute plans to attend - the box office has given notice that all "day passes" are SOLD OUT.

Great for the Festival organizers, however. The cash is flowin' in.

But, there is ample opportunity to snatch up a three-day pass or two, while they last! Just surf over to - www.coachella.com - to book now or risk missing the best riffs west of the Rockies this party season.

The high-energy event is expected to be graced with the presence of many scintillating personalities from far-reaching quarters of the creative community. After all, music is a universal language that speaks volumes to all and from many walks of life.

If you're not a fan of PRINCE, there are other musical tastes for the discerning ear; for instance - the Verve, Portishead, the Breeders, Aphex Twin, and Kraftwerk - to name a handful of the sizzlin' hot few.

Off the Festival grounds high-powered industry-types - and social butterflies of all ilks - will be stalking the local party scene. And, for the adventurous, there are about a half-a-dozen prestigious red ribbon events to crash for those with the savvy skills to accomplish the feat.

For instance, GQ is hosting an affair at the Viceroy featuring DJ Sevigny. Meanwhile, Anthem Magazine takes a big splash with a pool party. And, an after-hours party crush will be held at Tokio Bar on Saturday night.

Also, A & T Mobile is tossing a soiree in an airplane hangar for those who want to land their social jet-setting wings. An open bar, DJ sets from Steve Aoki, and appearances by celebs like Carmen Electra may heighten passions a bit, if you're lucky to touch down on their runway.

Others jumped on the wild bash bandwagon this year, too - Filter Magazine, BPM Magazine, Paramount, and Spin Magazine - for instance.

For good reason...

According to Peter Hunsinger - VP at GQ Magazine,

"The people who come to Coachella go home and influence their peers and friends and work associates and family. They become the agents of change that every client wants to make a part of their marketing outreach. If you are not here, you are not there."

But, don't forget to go prepared. Three days in the scorching sun may wreck havoc in your life if you're careless about the harsh realities of arid desert life.

Be sure to pack your tote bag with ample bottles of fresh water, sunscreen (with an SPF factor of at least 15 minimum), a change of clothes in case the weather gets inclement, energy snacks, sunglasses, and wide-brimmed hat or baseball cap to prevent the intense rays of the sun from pounding on your noggin' with disastrous end results.

Party hearty, eh?

MGMT on stage...


Busy P to appear...













Raconteurs set may be viewed
10:05 pm PST / April 25th.
attblueroom. com/music




FRIDAY, APRIL 25
Aphex Twin
God-like electronic legend melts brains
The Verve
The Stones of the ’90s reunited
Battles
Hardcore math-metal for digital mind-bots
The Raconteurs
Jack White gets his Petty on
Vampire Weekend
Preppy indie-pop for collegiate cuties
Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings
The original Amy Winehouse, only better
Black Kids
Hipster-approved multi-cultural power-pop
Dan Deacon
Spazzy celebration of your inner geek
Santogold
Hipsters heart Brooklyn's answer to M.I.A.

SATURDAY, APRIL 26
Prince
Best headliner since Radiohead. Purple reign!
Portishead
Trip-hop pioneers make melancholy magic
Kraftwerk
OG disco robots rule the nation
Erol Alkan
U.K. turntable star = weekend’s top DJ
Little Brother
Super-fun backpack-hip-hop heroes
Dwight Yoakam
Ass-kickin' honky-tonk country pimp
M.I.A.
Militant dance party with bombastic beats
Kate Nash
Precious and precocious girlie-pop, awkwardly
Uffie
Hot potty-mouthed Ed Banger babe

SUNDAY, APRIL 27
Love & Rockets
Post-Bauhaus high-octane speed-rock
Murs
Still better than your favorite rapper
Autolux
Awesome atmospheric L.A. space-rock
The Field
Lush electronic waves of digital bliss
The Cool Kids
Retro Technicolor indie hip-hop upstarts
Black Mountain
Druggy organic jam-rock—with girls!
Swervedriver
Awesome '90s guitar army stargaze loudly
Duffy
The blonde, non-cracky Amy Winehouse
Kid Sister w/A-Trak
Heavyweight DJ + emerging rapstress = sonic love
Roger Waters
Trippy side of your pharmacist's stash
Dimitri From Paris
Playboy-appro