Sometimes Early Looks a Lot Like Late

I didn’t pull out the Easter decorations last year. I didn’t host a post-church family brunch. I didn’t color hard boiled eggs with the kids. Oh, we had a delightful celebration and I have no regrets whatsoever about the somewhat unorthodox way we made our observance, but that did not stop me from looking ahead to this year and planning a return to the Old Ways. I thought that certainly this year there would be decorations, there may well be a brunch – heck, I might even conduct my traditional frenzied search for last pair of white girl's tights anywhere in town.

These children own 17 types of adhesive products and yet they will steal my Scotch tape if I look away for so much as a second. They cannot be trusted.








Early guidance suggests that none of this will happen again this year. I've not dispensed with the critical pre-holiday planning stages, however. To my way of thinking, there’s nothing like the memory of a recently passed or about-to-be whiffed holiday to prompt progress toward the next time around. Women’s magazines advocate such an approach – buy Christmas wrap on December 26th and so forth – but I really feel that I’ve got the methodology down to an art. My procedure is as follows:

1. Six weeks before the day arrives, write a lengthy and elaborate list of projects to be completed. You might, for example, want to make your own wrappings out of quilting fabric or wish to potato-stamp bunny shapes on a hemp table runner. Maybe include both – there’s no need to be under-ambitious, I always say.
2. Purchase, recover from dusty underbed storage, or otherwise gather from the kids’ art bins the required supplies. If you require more than two adhesive products an angel gets her wings, so don’t be shy!
3. Pile said supplies on sideboard, end table or sofa, awaiting time (and energy) to use them.
4. Express gobsmacked shock as the holiday comes and goes while preparatory supplies go untouched on sideboard, end table or sofa. Wonder what you did with those 42 days, and then strike vague recall of unarticulated expectations at both home and work having chipped away at what had seemed to be abundant leisure.
5. Find time (and energy) the week after the holiday when the rest of one’s colleagues and friends are recovering from festive excess to complete the projects because there’s no way those things (see Step 3) are going to be put back under the bed. Too crowded under there anyway, what with all the pipe cleaners and felt, and fabric paint leftover from prior years.

It’s simple, really. While to the rest of the world I will appear to be ever so late with my adorable beaded springtime napkin rings and wooden eggs decoupaged with butterflies, I maintain that, no, I am quite prepared for next year. Bring it, April 8, 2012. I’ll be ready for you.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St Patrick's Day TransGriot readers!

Louisville has a sizable Irish descended population that dates back to the 19th Century. And yes, as Skip Gates' DNA proves, there are some African descended peeps walking around that do have some Irish heritage.

The Irish and Irish for the day will be gathering at all the local Irish-themed restaurants, pubs on Bardstown Road and Fourth Street Live.

I may have to bounce out later and hit Molly Malone's for their fish and chips and Bailey's cheesecake if I can even get in the place today.

So Happy St. Patrick's Day! Make sure you have a designated driver if you decide to partake of mass quantities of green beer and other Irish spirits.

Happy Valentine's Day Y'all!

Today is Valentines Day.

For those of y'all who put a ring on it, are about to, or have hooked up with that special someone, it's a wonderful day filled with love and romance for you.

For people like myself who are still single, different story. We're buying our own chocolate and taking ourselves to dinner.

At any rate, I'm not hatin' on you coupled peeps, just envious that you were fortunate enough to find someone to share your lives with and I wish you the best.

Here's a link to some of my past Valentine's day musings as I continue to scarf up my chocolate and play my Luther CD's

Now where's that chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream?

Happy King Day!

Today is Rev. Dr.Martin Luther King Day, the holiday in the States in which we remember our 'Drum Major For Justice' and the remarkable but all too brief life of as Tavis Smiley called him, one of the greatest Americans we have ever produced as a people.

I usually spend a portion of my King Day doing what he called it 'hard solid thinking' about various social justice and other issues. I also engage in doing a little introspection on how and what I need to do personally to continue evolving toward being a better human being.

Sometimes that introspective process has me rereading some of Dr. King's essays. Many people are aware of his oratorical skills, but sometimes forget that Dr. King was one dynamite writer as well.

I am also tired of the focus of the celebrations on Dr. King's life being before 1963. Dr. King did live until April 4, 1968.

After 1963 Dr. King started focusing on economic justice issues in addition to opposing the Vietnam War, which didn't sit well with a lot of people. His essays and speeches post-1963 are just as timely and on point for our times as they were back then, and just as insightful as his pre-1963 ones.

So Happy King Day TransGriot readers. May it be a peaceful and stress free day for you.

Because tomorrow we resume the ongoing work of making 'The Dream' become a reality.

Sugarplum Fairy, Somewhat Late

Some months ago I received a lovely e-mail from a women named Molly who said she wanted very much to send me some POM Wonderful pomegranate juice. Just because. I shrugged my shoulders, thought "why not" and replied that she was certainly welcome to do so - I adore pomegranates and their juice alike - and said that she should not engage in any breath holding regarding posts because 1) am pretty lazy about posting obligations, perceived or actual and 2) I was as likely to make jelly or pour the juice over a turkey or somesuch before I did anything as straightforward as actually drink it. She wrote that she thought that was just fine and several days later I took delivery of a box of these.*


Isn't that just the cutest?


Pomegranate jelly was among the first of my canning experiments way back in the distant mists of 2003. I recall it as successful, although I ended up with way more jelly than I could have used at the time. These days I'm sure that I could make better use of the output and decided to, with the gift of the juice, revisit the project.


Making jelly from juice is really the only method I'm willing to tolerate. I simply do not have time to mess with crushing and draining fruit, worry about clarity, measuring and blah blah blah. Not when it's possible to make a year's worth of jam in less than two hours or go the juice route with similar achievement. There are lots of good, wholesome, natural (and -ish) juices on the market these days and I don't feel any need to drain anything from anywhere into whatever else when it can be successfully avoided with nothing traded in exchange. (I have similar feelings about manual vs. automatic transmissions. There may be benefits to the former, but with the availability of the latter, why would you?)


So, juice is really where it's at, jelly-wise. Not that I actually made the jelly. No, friends, as 2009 wore on and on (and...) and I became enmeshed eight weeks we call The Holiday Season it became clear that no there would be no jelly making. So I looked to glazing the Christmas turkey (please, do not get me started on why there was no roast beef this year - telling the story now can come to no good) and felt little to no guilt about keeping those cute little bottles waiting. I knew the glaze would be great because pomegranate anything is always great and skipped merrily along having absolved myself of any and all jelly-making responsibilities. I started dreaming about POM reductions with shallot and thyme or maybe sparked with Sichuan pepper. There are zillions of possibilities when it comes to these things. Including drinking, as it turns out.


Flash forward to Christmas Eve. Brainiac had just bought an enormous bottle of vodka (and also one of rum, since he could not remember which went into egg nog and there was no way he was going back to the liquor store just as the merriment countdown began so best to stock up on everything possible while the moment was at hand, right?) and my sister-in-law was coming over with her son for our customary Chinese food and Christmas cookie dinner. The day had been a delightful one, full of wrapping and singing and baking. Feeling celebratory, I cast about for a specialish cocktail that we could enjoy together. I remembered the planned glaze. Turkey? What turkey? I had some POM and a tanker truck's worth of vodka. In the face of such festivity there is only one thing a girl can do to make judicious use of such resources.


Behold the official cocktail of 2009-2010 twelve days of Christmas (literally so, having finished up the last bottle sent by my good friend Molly just the 6th, the Feast of the Epiphany**). Each of the sweet little bottles held enough juice for three martini-ish cocktails which, with sugared rims and iced cranberry garnish, kept me and mine in tremendously good spirits right up until the last carols were sung on Epiphany.** Does this cocktail have a name yet? What about the Sugarplum?

Neither I nor the nice folks at POM couldn't have known back when that the contents of that little box would end up being such fun. It just goes to prove that, sometimes, the most obvious thing to do with juice is to just go ahead and drink it.

* See what I did there? Not for nothing do I make my living as a compliance professional in my non-blog life, engaged in keeping my employer aright of various federal laws, regulations, statutes and whims. In keeping with recent handwringing relating to a certain type of blogger (female, mom, etc.) preying on the trusting good natures of innocent Internet-goers everywhere, I have now informed you that I am in receipt of free stuff and you are able to adjust your expectations of my further statements on the juice accordingly. I'm so glad we had this chat.

** This is the day when observant Episcopalians everywhere drain the bottom of their glasses, look about, and say, "Can we please take these decorations down already?"

*** I swear, that cooper tray doesn't look nearly as tarnished in real life as it appears to be in that pic. No, really. I'm a terrible housekeeper in many ways but polish is one thing that I am on top of. I need me some Photoshop skills, it appears.

New Year's Message From Canada's Governor General

Y'all know how much I love Canada's Governor General Michaelle Jean. Her term expires later this year unless it is extended either by the 'Sweater Vest' or his successor for two more years.

At any rate, here is her New Year's Day message to her fellow Canadians and the peeps across the Diaspora like moi who think she's just awesome.

New Years Video Message From The POTUS

Fresh for the 2K10, the New Years Day Message from President Barack Obama

President Obama's Thanksgiving Greeting

For centuries, in peace and in war, in prosperity and in adversity, Americans have paused at this time of year to gather with loved ones and give thanks for life’s blessings. This week, we carry on this distinctly American tradition. All across our country, folks are coming together to spend time with family, to catch up with old friends, to cook and enjoy a big dinner – and maybe to watch a little football in between.

As always, we give thanks for the kindness of loved ones, for the joys of the previous year, and for the pride we feel in our communities and country. We keep in our thoughts and prayers the many families marking this Thanksgiving with an empty seat – saved for a son or daughter, or husband or wife, stationed in harm’s way. And we say a special thanks for the sacrifices those men and women in uniform are making for our safety and freedom, and for all those Americans who enrich the lives of our communities through acts of kindness, generosity and service.

But as much as we all have to be thankful for, we also know that this year millions of Americans are facing very difficult economic times. Many have lost jobs in this recession – the worst in generations. Many more are struggling to afford health care premiums and house payments, let alone to save for an education or retirement. Too many are wondering if the dream of a middle class life – that American Dream – is slipping away. It’s the worry I hear from folks across the country; good, hard-working people doing the best they can for their families – but fearing that their best just isn’t good enough. These are not strangers. They are our family, our friends, and our neighbors. Their struggles must be our concern.

That’s why we passed the Recovery Act that cut taxes for 95 percent of working people and for small businesses – and that extended unemployment benefits and health coverage for millions of Americans who lost their jobs in this turmoil. That’s why we are reforming the health care system so that middle-class families have affordable insurance that cannot be denied because of a pre-existing condition or taken away because you happen to get sick. We’ve worked to stem the tide of foreclosures and to stop the decline in home values. We’re making it easier to save for retirement and more affordable to send a son or daughter to college.

The investments we have made and tough steps we have taken have helped break the back of the recession, and now our economy is finally growing again. But as I said when I took office, job recovery from this crisis would not come easily or quickly. Though the job losses we were experiencing earlier this year have slowed dramatically, we’re still not creating enough new jobs each month to make up for the ones we’re losing. And no matter what the economists say, for families and communities across the country, this recession will not end until we completely turn that tide.

So we’ve made progress. But we cannot rest – and my administration will not rest – until we have revived this economy and rebuilt it stronger than before; until we are creating jobs and opportunities for middle class families; until we have moved beyond the cycles of boom and bust – of reckless risk and speculation – that led us to so much crisis and pain these past few years.

Next week, I’ll be meeting with owners of large and small businesses, labor leaders, and non-for-profits from across the country, to talk about the additional steps we can take to help spur job creation. I will work with the Congress to enact them quickly. And it is my fervent hope – and my heartfelt expectation – that next Thanksgiving we will be able to celebrate the fact that many of those who have lost their jobs are back at work, and that as a nation we will have come through these difficult storms stronger and wiser and grateful to have reached a brighter day.

Thank you, God bless you, and from my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving, Peeps!

I know you Canadians got your Thanksgiving grub on last month. Now it's your south of the border cousins turn to partake of the turkey and dressing or whatever graces your dining table.

It's been an up and down year for me so far, but overall I have much to be thankful for. The trans community has seen the passage of one of our legislative crown jewels in the Byrd-Shepard Hate Crimes Bill and may get ENDA passed as well.

While violence against transpeople around the world spiked up, I'm still prayerfully hopeful that with the increased education and acceptance that will end.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my TransGriot readers. May your food be plentiful and delicious, your travels to and from wherever you're dining be stress free, your interactions with family and friends be filled with positivity and may your blessings for the rest of this year and 2010 be abundant.

Happy Thanksgiving, peeps!

Retailers, Can You Wait Until After Thanksgiving Before Putting Up The Christmas Decorations?

Last week I headed to the Dillard's in Mall St. Matthews to reload my Fashion Fair makeup and get some other items for my upcoming LI trip.

After breathing a sigh of relief that my Pure Brown foundation shade was in stock and successfully procuring it, since I was just down the street I decided to roll over to the other side of the Watterson Expressway and Oxmoor Center.

It's been a little over six months and ten dress sizes since I last saw some of my former Macy's coworkers. I was curious to know not only what was transpiring there but show off the Coke bottle shape as well.

I entered near the center of the mall and as I strolled through the central plaza heading toward the Macy's end I noticed Oxmoor Center maintenance personnel putting up the mall Christmas tree in the middle of the now shut off water fountain.

When I arrived at Macy's, I noticed some Christmas music was being mixed in with the other regular music selections. I also noticed the posters for the Christmas ad campaign were being put up as well.

One of the things that annoys me is the recent recurring trend of retailers trying to get a jump on their make or break sales season by putting Christmas decorations up before we've even gotten Thanksgiving, or in some cases Halloween out of the way. My local Walgreen's had their Christmas stuff up three days after Halloween was over.

I understand it's been a tough year retail wise. The recession has really hurt and taken out some small and large retailers in the process. Even iconic ones are feeling the pinch.

I understand why they're doing it. The retailers are trying to entice consumers into the stores.

But until we consumers get some raised credit limits and cash lining our purses and wallets, won't be much shopping done until we see sales that make it worth our while to spend our limited cash on or we absolutely, positively need that particular item you're selling.

I love the Christmas season as much as anybody, but damn, Thanksgiving hasn't happened yet. Thank God the radio stations at least hold off playing Christmas music until the day after Thanksgiving, or I'd really be muttering 'bah, humbug' under my breath at regular intervals.

We're going to get assaulted with Christmas commercials, music, the sights and sounds of the season for a month. Can you least hold off starting that onslaught of Christmas commercial cheer until I've at least had time to digest my Thanksgiving dinner?

Thank You Trans Vets!

Today is Veteran's Day here in the States.

We take this day to remember the people who not only sacrifice to serve our country in the military, but as recent events have made painfully clear, give their lives to protect it and their fellow Americans as well.

I wanted to take this moment to give a Veteran's Day shoutout to Monica Helms and Angela Brightfeather, the founders, president and vice president of TAVA, the Transgender American Veterans Association.

TAVA works tirelessly on behalf of transvets to advocate for their issues. They also educate our military on issues and policies that affect past, present and future military personnel who happen to be transgender.

I have had the pleasure of meeting in our community many transvets who proudly served our country. Our transvets such as Phyllis Frye and Autumn Sandeen have also played major roles in helping us get organized and providing leadership to our community in various ways as well.

So from a blogger who has much love and respect for your service to our country, I wanted to say, Thank You, Trans vets.

Thank you for everything you do to make the trans community, your local areas, your states, the nation and the world a better place for all of us.

What Are You Wearing For Halloween?

It's open thread time!

For those of you who are going to Halloween parties tonight or are thinking about it, what are you wearing?

What were your fave costumes of all time? What's your fave Halloween memory?

The comment thread is yours as I take a moment to scarf up some candy corn.

Pat Robertson And CBN Friends Are Tripping Again

Happy Halloween Peeps!

Too bad I'd already selected my Shut Up Fool! award winner for this week or televangelist Pat Robertson and CBN contributor Kimberly Daniels would have snatched the prize.

Pat posted an unhinged commentary by Daniels on his Christian Broadcast Network website as part of his anti-Halloween crusade.

His Hateraid for Halloween goes back to 1982. Back in the day he called it a “Satanic ritual” and said on his 700 Club TV show, “I think we ought to close Halloween down.”

On Oct. 29, 2007, Robertson called Halloween a “festival of the devil” and added that celebrating the holiday is “a mistake for Christians.”

Kimberly Daniels took it a step further by stating in the piece that has subsequently been taken down from the CBN website, “[M]ost of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches,” Daniels wrote. “I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.”

The Rev. Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, urged Robertson and Daniels to lighten up.

“I’ve heard of the devil being in the details, but to think he’s lurking inside a Snickers bar is a little too much,” Lynn quipped. “Pat Robertson has always peddled some scary stuff, but this is over the top.”

Added Lynn, “I hate to see all of that candy go to waste. I wish Robertson would send it to me, because I’m throwing a Halloween party and could use it.”

I agree, Rev. Lynn. A chocolate bar is a terrible thing to waste. That's why I eat as much chocolate as I can stand and revel in every delicious minute of it.

It would also be a travesty to let those gummi bears, gumballs, malted milk balls and other delectable confections that hardworking people created go to waste as well.

“I think Pat has been watching too many scary movies. Still, if he doesn’t want to celebrate Halloween, that’s fine with me, but he should quit trying to spoil everyone else’s fun.”

No kidding, Rev. Lynn.

Yo Pat and Kim, if you have any candy corn, send it my way. I'll be glad to scarf it up for you or any candy you're not using tonight.

But seriously, y'all need to stop tripping over there at CBN.

Not Feeling Halloween

The peeps on Hillcrest Ave here in Da Ville are once again living up to an over twenty year tradition and going all out to outdo their neighbors and spooktacularly decorate their houses for Halloween.

They are expecting more than the 20,000 kids they had last year traipsing up and down the street between Frankfort Ave. and Brownsboro Rd.

Since it falls on a Saturday this year, the goblins and ghouls get an extra hour of sleep since Daylight Savings Time ends this weekend.

It's also considered by some people the Transgender National Holiday, but I'm definitely not feeling the festive spirit of it at the moment.

Probably some of what I'm feeling is related to my childhood in H-town, the cloudy weather we're having today in Da Ville and thinking about the 1974 Ronald Clark O'Bryan case.

Because his business was failing, O'Bryan took out large insurance policies on his children one month before the date. On Halloween night he gave his kids and in order to cover his tracks, five other neighborhood kids cyanide laced Giant Pixy Sticks.

It's a powered candy that comes in a straw. You can also get (and still can) an almost two foot long one for you to eat to your heart's content.

Unfortunately his 8 year old son Timothy tore into his and later died a painful death. His daughter and the other kids he handed the poisoned treats to fortunately didn't eat them. One of those jacked up Pixy Sticks became the evidence they used to convict him of murder and later execute O'Bryan on May 31, 1984.

He was actually sentenced to die on Halloween 1983, but since state law required at the time you give the condemned 180 days to appeal the decision, the execution date was pushed back.

Pixy Sticks were one of my fave candy treats at the time, but after that night I stopped eating them for almost two years. Even when I spot the giant ones on display I get a twinge of sadness when I see them.

It also put a permanent crimp in Halloween for me and every kid in Houston after that. No more could I freely range in two or three neighborhoods and get enough candy to last until Thanksgiving Day. After that I was limited to my neighborhood and the neighbors we knew for years. We also ended up with more church and other youth group sponsored events like costume contests.

Over time Halloween just became an adult costume dress up day. It was also the one day on the calendar next to Mardi Gras in New Orleans in which we transpeeps knew we could dress up and not be called derogatory names.

But I'll just have to shake it off, put a smile on my face for the kids and yell "Happy Halloween" as I pass out the candy to the kids who show up on our doorstep Saturday night.

If I'm lucky, maybe I'll shake off the blahs I'm feeling long enough to get into costume myself and find a party in the gayborhood.

Happy Thanksgiving, Renee (And All My Canadian Trans Peeps and Readers)

One of the wonderful things about the Internet is that no wonder where you live, from the comfort of your home you can take an informational journey around the world.

I've been blessed to have a lot of readers from Canada who peruse this blog. It's a fact I'm very proud of since I do have a broad international view of the transgender rights struggle.

Our Canadian cousins celebrate Thanksgiving on the second Monday in October. So on the occasion of my Canadian cousins getting their grub on today and giving thanks for the blessings in their lives, I wanted to take a moment to say thanks to my Canadian readers for spending your valuable web surfing time reading TransGriot.

I wanted to say a special thanks on this day to a person who has become a close friend and homegirl in Renee and her family. You have been a blessing in my life this year, and I give thanks to the Creator on this day for you being in mine.

Unfortunately one of the things at your dinner table won't be me or the cornbread recipe I owe you.

I also thank you for being a staunch ally and being in mine and the rest of the trans community's corner.

I also give thanks to peeps like Mercedes Allen, Dr. Miqqi Alicia Gilbert, Michelle Dumaresq, Linus, Micheline Montreuil, Victoria Stuart, Veronique, Elizabeth Tyler and countless other Canadian trans peeps and their allies. You are all doing your parts to fight for the rights of transpeople who reside inside the Great White North.

By doing the education, breaking barriers in Canadian society, making history and fighting the Forces of Intolerance, you drive home the simple points that Canada is your home and you are human beings deserving of all it has to offer.

So Happy Thanksgiving to all of you peeps north of the border.

Try not to eat too much turkey, eh?

Happy 4th?

Yesterday was the 4th of July. My attitude towards it sometimes mirrors the line in the 'Tuskegee Airmen' movie.

'How do I feel about my country? And how does my country feel about me?'

I've been pissed on one level or another about the pseudo-Texan Idiot-In-Thief since 1995, the various outrages of his misadministration, et cetera. Combine that with having to go to work as the house was barbecuing and it was not setting up to be a nice evening for me.

The post I have on Wednesday and Thursday nights is a construction site out in Fairdale just south of Louisville International Airport. A lot of those homes have been torn down to make room for airport expansion but you still have scattered holdouts here and there. Outside of the occasional KY Air National Guard airplane
passing over the area and the 12 midnight and 3 AM UPS arrival and departure flight banks it's pretty quiet.

To stave off boredom I'm armed with much of my CD collection and I keep a notepad for those times when I get an inspired writing idea for a novel, poem, short story blog post or need to work on a TransGriot column in between patrol rounds.

I'm writing a poem on the notepad close to sunset when I notice a flash. I look up in that direction and in the distance somebody is setting off fireworks. They are joined by more and more colorful ones across the neighborhood and the surrounding area.

I had the 'Whitney's Greatest Hits' CD in the car and it has her version of the 'Star Spangled Banner' she sung at the 1991 Super Bowl in Tampa. I pulled it out, advanced it to that track and pressed play.

I must have repeated it about 5 times while watching the fireworks burst all around the neighborhood before an advancing thunderstorm and Mother Nature's more awesome version of firewoks shut down all the fun.

I'm not a 'my country right or wrong love it or leave it' bumper sticker patriot. I believe our country CAN do better than it has over the last six years and have made a few lobby trips to Capitol Hill on my own dime over the last decade to prove it.

As one of my fellow Texans Barbara Jordan once stated, 'I believe in an America as good as its promise'.

Last night reminded me that no matter how disgusted or down I get about the current state of affairs, I have to continue believing it. I must continue fighting to make that kind of America happen. I'm comforted by the fact there are far more people in this country who share Barbara Jordan's vision of America than Ann Coulter's.

Hopefully yesterday inspired more of you to do the same and fight for a better America as well.

Valentine's Day Musings

TransGriot Note: photo of the painting 'In The Garden' by Keith Mallett

Happy Valentine's Day everybody!

Like most people I'm part of that percentage of the population that is single. It's not that I choose to be, I just am.

I'm a bit of a romantic, and that's the toughest part of being single on Valentine's Day. Enduring the endless commercials that are pushing jewelry, candy, flowers, et cetera. The romantic movies that get dusted off and broadcast. Ironically I was up until 2 AM this morning reading a Kayla Perrin romance novel and spent most of yesterday afternoon writing my own.

One of the things that I factored into my decision to go ahead with transition was the fact that I could possibly be spending a lot of Valentine's days alone. But I love myself far too much to allow myself to wallow in the unhappiness that was part of my life prior to transition.

Maybe there is a special person out there for me, maybe not. I'm not gonna lose any sleep over it. I know what's it's like to be in love, albeit from the other side of the gender fence. It's one of the hard facts of being transgender that love isn't any easier to find or deal with than some of the other life issues we grapple with. We all realize that it is gonna take someone that is secure and confident in their personality and their own lives to love us. That love is tougher to find when the genitalia between your legs doesn't match up with the rest of your gender presentation.

Then there are the misconceptions that potential suitors have about us. News flash to the peeps that want to step to me or any transwoman. I'm not one of the fellas. I look at life, romance and love through a feminine prism. To get with me will not break your bank account, but a prerequisite is treating me like any other sistah you want romantic attention from. (that means flowers, chocolate and my fave perfume)

Another thing that's a must is that some of the things I like to do require you to take me out during daylight hours. If your ego can't handle being talked about by society for having me on your arm, then don't step to me, period. I want the person I love to be just as proud of being seen and being around me as I am of them. If you can't meet that simple requirement, step.

Finally, I am not a booty call or looking to be the other woman. I do believe in karma. I'm not going to deliberately be the cause of any discourse in a stable relationship. I don't want any relationship I eventually get into vulnerable to the reverse spin of the karmic wheel because I disrespected somebody's relationship or their marriage.

So as you can see I haven't and won't give up on love. I have much respect, admiration and a little twinge of jealousy for those people in the community and beyond who are in stable, satisfying relationships or who have experienced the heady rush of having someone worship the ground they walk on. Maybe that will happen for me one day.

In the meantime, what time is the next showing of Daddy's Little Girls and the closest place I can go to get some chocolate to scarf up?

Happy New Year-Happy Anniversary TransGriot Blog!

Happy New Year!

Wow, another year has flown by. It seems like the older you get, the faster time marches on.

It was just 365 days ago that I started this TransGriot Blog. I knew I was going to start one but it wasn't quite clear at the time in my mind what direction I wanted to take it. The only thing I knew for certain was the start date was going to be on January 1, just as I did with the Transistahs-Transbrothas Yahoo list that is three years old today.

Some of the questions I pondered during the countdown to TransGroit's startup date were, Did I want to do an extension of my column for THE LETTER and just add real time commentary to the stories that I chose to write? Did I want to do strictly news on the transgender community or take a broader approach?

In the end, I just decided to go with what my heart was telling me and just simply write what I felt. In addition to posting my monthly TransGriot columns, I'd comment on breaking news stories. I've posted my poetry or short stories. I've posted my thoughts on transition from an African-American perspective and will resume (one of these days) the series of articles I started about the various women who were influences on the type of woman I wanted to project to the world.

Thanks to all of you who have written or told me personally how much you enjoy this blog. (just need y'all to leave a comment every now and then). It's nice to know that my efforts to provide you a window of the world as I see it along with some of my guest columnists have been noticed and are appreciated.

I'll make one promise for you in 2007, dear readers. Get ready for even more of the same as I strive to make this blog even better.

Old School Christmas

Me and a friend in the days leading up to the Festival of Conspicuous Consumption were talking about how Christmas was growing up for both of us as children in the 70's. We had some similar memories despite living almost 1000 miles apart.

Before my family purchased the current artificial green Christmas tree we still use, we had an artificial silver one with silver foil looking attachments to it that dated back to the 60's. The silver foil tree was backlit with a rotating lightbulb thingy that bathed it in three different colors of red, orange and green light at regular intervals.

We actually bought a real tree one year at Mom's insistence. The additional maintenance and upkeep required to have it stay fresh, the extra precautions we had to observe in order for the tree not to become a fire hazard and the annoyance of vacuuming the carpet almost every day because of fallen needles caused us to go right back to the artificial one the next year.

The radio stations would play classic Christmas music from Thanksgiving until Christmas Day. I loved hearing the variety of soulful Christmas songs that ranged from Nat King Cole to Charles Brown's blues flavored Merry Christmas, Baby.

Stores wouldn't put up Christmas decorations until AFTER Thanksgiving Day. You looked forward to watching A Charlie Brown Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, The Grinch That Stole Christmas and the other various Rankin-Bass animated Christmas shows.

The other aspect of it was a lot of the toys we received made us use our imaginations or physically do something. Hula hoops. Easy Bake Ovens. Etch a Sketches. Legos. Lincoln Logs. Light Brites. Sporting equipment. Bicycles.

Playing electronic football games back in the day involved setting up 22 plastic men, a felt football and a electrically charged metal football field, not a video game console. Boxing was the Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. One Christmas I got a foosball table and even a hockey game. I developed a wicked spin shot that I still confound my foosball opponents with. I generate speed with it just by flicking my wrists.

I had plastic soldiers like most kids my age and a GI Joe but would've rather had a Barbie. Of course there was always the box that contained clothes and an occasional book or two for me since my parents friends and my family knew I loved to read.

As I got older I was drafted into the Santa's Helpers Corps. I had to help keep my sister's presents safely hidden from their prying, nosey eyes until Christmas Day. I also learned as a member of the SHC the three most deadly words of the Christmas season: Some Assembly Required.

I ended up discovering the joys and frustrations of putting together various Barbie houses, a miniature doll house and two bikes.

Every time I hear those classic back in the day Black Christmas songs during the holidays my mind drifts to those relatively carefree days when as Stevie Wonder sang in I Wish, then my only worry was for Christmas what would be my toy.

These days I have far more to worry about than I did in the 70's.

Happy Thanksgiving

God, is it Thanksgiving already? It caught me off guard this year.

I've had a hard time getting in the holiday spirit because I'll have to spend a few hours (4-12 midnight) at work. It feels like a turkey of a day for me.

Hey, I know I should be happy that I have a job, but it really sucks that I'll be spending a major portion of Thanksgiving day at work instead of sitting at the table enjoying the Thanksgiving dinner that my roommate Dawn cooked. (yes, she can cook. Her bird is the bomb along with her dressing balls).

AC and Susan are up I-65 north in Bloomington eating dinner with her family. I'm 1000 miles away from home, although the Lone Star homesickness got mitigated somewhat by making that trip to Dallas two weeks ago for my cousin's wedding.

I need to accentuate the positive. I do have a lot to be thankful for this year. I still have my health and a roof over my head. I have dropped 15 pounds so far, got reconnected with my Dallas relatives and now have a cousin in Cleveland that I can and do plan to visit. I have wheels again. There are two talented peeps in Sharron and Jessica who have expressed their interest in wanting to do the graphics work for my soon to be published novel 'On The Wings of Love'.

I received a Trinity Award earlier this year in Philly. After I started this blog January 1 it quickly got linked to Jasmyne Cannick's and Pam Spaulding's 'Pam's House Blend' blogs. Not bad for a newbie to this world. One day my blog will be at that level.

I had a newspaper article written about me (and Dawn) in the C-J that I'm still getting positive feedback on a month later. I'm also gratified that the majority of the positive comments I'm receiving are coming from other African-Americans.

That's a lot of positive things to celebrate. Even if am spending several hours of it at work.