Hollywood threw up the street barriers and rolled out the thick red carpet at Mann's Chinese for a handful of power-players in Tinseltown who purred up to the curb in long sleek limos to take in the premiere of the Warner Brothers release 10,000 B.C.
The Hollywood strip was a biz of a zoo - what with all the excited tourists clicking away furiously at talented "Celebrity Impersonators" performing impromptu on the Hollywood "Walk of Fame" - and a long line of curious gawkers forming a line across the street for a taping of the Jimmy Kimmel Show.
So, the opening-night jitters of a handful of popular filmmakers stirred up the pot a bit.
In spite of the fact director Roland Emmerich rolled out a string of big ticket hits in recent years - "Godzilla", "Independence Day", "The Day After Tomorrow" - a negative pre-show buzz hinted that the new offering might fizzle at the box office once the word leaked out.
Shortly after the curtain fell - a large part of the under-thirty audience settled in - for what I thought was a bit of a celluloid disappointment.
The plot - what there was of it - was rather thin.
In the opening scenes a witch doctor has a "vision" about a prophecy which summarily comes to pass.
Before you can say - "plot twist" - a young woman with penetrating "blue eyes" (spoken of in a legend) is snatched up from their midst by a warring tribe from a land beyond the Great Mountain at the "eye of the snake".
Yeah, it's all pretty mysterious mystical stuff!
Our young hero - played by Steven Strait (no idea whether he is or not) - gathers up a handful of the tribe's best to track 'em with the ultimate aim of returning the woman with the soulful eyes to their village safe.Along the way the savages encounter intriguing tribes of various stripes and persuasions in far-flung regions of the globe that have yet to be explored and mapped for future posterity.
During these entertaining segments, the popcorn crowd is riveted to their seats, as the myriad quirks and ancient rituals of these mysterious peoples unfold in captivating enthralling ways.The cinematography is lush.
Subsequently, the images touch and hold the theatre-going public in their magical thrall, and are heightened by a stirring soundtrack at times reminiscent of one that resonated so hauntingly in the "The Gladiator".
Unfortunately, Mr. Strait looked like he was dropped into the prehistoric past straight out of suburbia, replete with muscled bod sculpted at Gold's Gym.
Unfortunately - he lacked the acting chops and basic prerequisite screen persona to carry the project - primitive or not
In contrast, the supporting players were fairly capable, and succeeded admirably in their characterizations where the lead player failed.
The special effects were DYNAMITE!
10,000 B.C. is really much ado about nothing - but fun, nonetheless - to journey along for the ride with the Encino Man.