If you're like me, over the years you've caved in and succumbed to a quickie or two.
In that event - "Quickie Express" (a film with a take on that theme) may just appeal to your - um - sensibilities.
When the Independent film first flickers up on the silver screen, macho lead character Jo Jo - adorned with a couple of awesome tats and a shock of lustrous hair - is toiling away at a day job at a tire company (Tora Sudiro).
The studly attributes of the common working stiff are not lost on a nefarious street character who slyly sidles up to him and offers him gainful employment where ready cash can be racked in.
At first Jo Jo is reticent, but with a bit of cajoling, the two head off in the stranger's car to a local "Pizza Parlor" which just happens to be a front for a male escort service unbeknownst to our naive Lothario.
After a bit mind-bending jive talk, and the twisting of an arm or two, the head of the out-call service convinces Jo Jo to take a test to determine if his skills are suitable for the task at hand.
When the computer-generated data spits outs, the message is loud and clear.
Gigolo!
So, the stud muffin is coerced into giving the new gig a try-out, in spite of his better judgment.
Now, the film takes a hilarious foray into the inner organisms (no pun intended) of the establishment.
Within the confines of the clandestine operation awkward hopefuls are trained on the romantic arts; for instance, they are taught how to dress for sensual excess, engage in scintillating conversation, select a bottle of wine appropriate for any romantic occasion - and ultimately - sustain the sexual interest of their clients.
Eventually, Jo Jo moves up after a probationary period, and is soon the exclusive property of a wealthy matron who pines for him day and night.
But, as fate would have it, Jo Jo falls in love with an intern at the local hospital.
Now the screwball comedy takes off into the stratosphere.
The film is a tribute to the legendary Indonesian Comedy Group, "Warkop DKI".
The director - Dimas Djayadiningrat - conceived the idea after ordering a pizza late one night while editing another film project. An encounter with the delivery man allegedly flashed Dimas back to a time in his youth when he was solicited to work as a - um - hired gun.
In the storyline, Djayadiningrat disguised the "brothel" as a restaurant, on the premise that there was a need to escape scrutiny from Islamic Religious groups in the Jakarta region where the black comedy is set.
At the premiere screening (Pacific Asian Film Festival) in Los Angeles, Nia diNata (the producer) noted that while "Quickie Express" was not the norm for films produced out of Indonesia, it scored big at the box office and sold over a million-and-a-half tickets.
Although "Quickie" is a bit "rough" around the edges - not unlike our hero, Jo Jo - in its context, it's fine.
In fact, a handful of scenes here and there were somewhat reminiscent of those in early films by legendary director, Michelangelo Antonioni.
At times, though, the props (for instance, the computers used to decipher data) smacked of a fifties-style Sci-Fi pic hokey-ness. I wasn't sure if this was due to budget constraints, or if it was a deliberate effort on the part of the director, to effect an intentional kitschy-ness into the mix.
There are a number of hilarious side-splitting moments in the screwball feature; on occasion, the toilet humor sinks quite low.
Ben Stiller would be proud.
Actually, it is the cast of flesh-and-blood oddball characters, that add zest to "Quickie Express".
For this reason, the off-beat film cries out as a curiosity on celluloid, that the adventurous may want to scribble on their "must-see" DVD list.