Because of a recent court ruling, savvy travellers with ubiquitous laptops in tow, may want to consider storing "sensitive" data or scintillating musings of a personal nature on discs left at home or face the real threat that - what the Government may perceive as "dirty laundry" - may be exposed in public at the airport or local rail station.
The last time I passed through the border with my laptop, I was a bit startled when a stiff official-looking Customs Official briskly strode up and asked that I fork over the slim elegant pc for inspection.
What would anyone want with my innocent blog material is any person's guess, eh?
Along that line of thought - and after a moment of reflection - I am reminded of an old episode of "Dynasty". In that night's intense hire-wire segment - presented in fabulous color on a wide screen amid a gaggle of gay boys at the Backlot on La Peer - Alexis ended up in the hospital after she was a victim of a murder attempt.
When the Detective sauntered into her room and questioned her as to who might want to cause her harm - the response was delicious - to say the least.
She thought for a sec - at which point - one unsavory foe came to mind.
"Well, there's..."
But, her voice trailed off as quickly as she began. Now, another face loomed large in the inner recesses of her well-coiffed head.
"Or, it could have been..."
She nervously twisted in her bed, and her eyes went wide beneath the perfectly made-up-face, as she came to grips with the reality that there may be three, or four, or - how many potential suspects?
A few at least!
Yeah, Alexis attracted enemies like flies to sh**.
But, back to my story.
Of course, no one would be interested in my humble thoughts, or even a smidgen of the harmless gossip I'm prone to spring on an unsuspecting Internet, right?
With a bit of a flourish, he set the PC lightly on the counter. Then, with great precision - on finger tippy-toe, if you will - he gingerly slipped on a pair of pristine white gloves. Not like in the Doctor's office where the examiner thrusts them on with a "thwack" and barks out to "bend over" to facilitate a rude grope in the buttocks for a prostrate check.
Gosh, I keep getting sidetracked.
At this juncture, the dedicated customs agent scanned the surface of my laptop with a smart stylish wand with due care and professional diligence. Satisfied that it was not going to blow up in his face, he proceeded to flip open the lid and power it on.After a few delightful bars of the windows theme sprang to life and sang out across the airport concourse, all the flashy icons fired up on the miniature screen before him.
'Ya know, he eyed 'em all with keen suspicion.
Yes, I do not have a number of intriguing software installations that may just pique the curiosity of the most mundane imaginations.
Satisfied that everything was A-OK, he closed the lid carefully and passed it off to me.
And, in a few seconds, he was intently observing the next passenger for tell-tale signs of evil-doings, I dare say.
The long and short of it is this. For those of you who thought that data in your laptop was safe - and beyond scrutiny - well, as some futurists would say, do a double-think.
Recently, an Appellate Court ruled that a laptop may not only be thoroughly searched - but the party who owns it, detained - if there is any hint of impropriety or illegal activity within the confines of its compact space.
In respect to the instant litigation aforementioned - pleadings in the proceeding established that when Michael Timothy Arnold (a Mathematics teacher) passed through LAX - a routine glance at the data inside revealed two photographs of naked women.
On the premise that there may be more pornographic material concealed in corresponding files - or elsewhere - Mr. Arnold was summarily detained and searched. And, in a further probe after the initial discovery, agents were shocked to uncover questionable nude photographs of children.
Consequently, he was summarily charged with possession and transportation of child pornography under applicable law.
Maximum jail sentence if convicted? Thirty years.
The man filed suit and argued that a laptop is not unlike a person's home, and as such, can not be searched without good cause, on the wings of a warrant, what have you.
Early on in the first stage of the litigation, a bench-warmer agreed.
In fact, in the lower court, U.S. District Court Judge Dean Pregerson ruled that the evidence found on the laptop was inadmissible. In his ruling, Pregerson opined that electronic storage devices are an extension of a person's memories and thoughts and cannot be legally searched without reasonable suspicion.
Well, that notion gets a guffaw from me, in spite of the fact I am fairly open-minded! Yes sir, I am all for laptops being bestowed the honor of - "sacred hallowed places" - where the nefarious high priests of State, Church, and prying Society dare not tread without due cause.
But, an appeal was lodged by the Federal Government (natch).
In their moving papers they argued that the law allows searches at the nation's borders without reasonable suspicion. Hence, their actions were within the law.
Now, how do you feel about that Homeland Security Act? Fess up!
After taking the matter under submission, the presiding 9th Circuit Justice - Diarmuid O'Scannlain (a boob by any standards) - stated in his opinion,
"Arnold has failed to distinguish how the search of his laptop and its electronic contents is logically any different from the suspicionless border searches of travelers' luggage that the Supreme Court and we have allowed."
Now, we get to why O'Scannlain is a moron.
To back his position, he snidely remarked that since a man can not "live" in a laptop (cheeky devil) and it is transportable - it is not like a home - at all.
You don't say! Brilliant deduction, Watson.
In the final analysis, his absurd notion is what negated the Appellant's arguments.
What we have here is a bona fide legal idiot, folks!
The Supreme Court finding that a laptop is like a suitcase - which is subject to legal search - makes more sense.
Albert Einstein said once,
"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the Gods."
Can you hear the laughter, Justice O'Scannlain?